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Neighbors Complain About Hamster House

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Neighbors Complain About Hamster House

Police have responded to noise complaints at the home of one JC the hamster seven times in the past two weeks and have issued him four citations for disturbing the piece.

Other residents of Baker Street, where the hamster resides, describe the small rodent as easy going.

“He was never a problem until these past couple of weeks,” said one neighbor, Alan Fleischmann. “I know he’s a hamster, but he was always quiet as a mouse.”

Then JC got a wheel.

“That damn wheel,” said Mary Blevins, who lives next door. “He’s always on that goddamn wheel. Squeak, squeak, squeak. It never stops.”

Police indicated that JC has agreed to try WD-40, but if that doesn’t work, they’ll be forced to confiscate the wheel.

Via jczhamster.

Puppy Wins Award for Salesperson of the Month

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Puppy Wins Award for Salesperson of the Month

Baxter, who works in the New York office of media company Gannett, was toiling away in middle management until a breakthrough last year. Now the dog leads the entire company with over $10 million in advertising booked and has just won his fifth consecutive salesperson of the month award.

What caused his remarkable rise? Coworkers attribute Baxter’s success to the company’s use of video conferencing.

“Once we installed a new video conferencing system in the sales office, Baxter’s numbers took off,” said Elise Montgomery, who works in the Gannett office alongside the pup. “No one can say no to that face.”

Baxter has had the most success with sports and lifestyle accounts, having closed major deals with Reebok, Under Armour and Bass Pro Shops.

“You’d think he’d be in charge of all our pet-related inventory,” said Montgomery. “But those people are immune to Baxter’s charms. I guess for them, another cute puppy is just another cute puppy.”

Via RealHumanBean94.

Cat Upset After Hitting Comcast Data Limit

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Cat Upset After Hitting Comcast Data Limit

Biscuit, a Scottish Fold kitten from Memphis, TN, was distraught when she received an email informing her that she had reached her monthly 300GB broadband data limit.

The cat is a cord cutter and gets most of her entertainment via streaming video on Netflix, Hulu and YouTube. She attributes this month’s overage to a particularly high amount of binge watching.

“She just got into Supernatural and watched all eight seasons on Netflix in under a week,” said roommate Sophia Mason. “Plus, they just added the seventh season of Psych and she had to go back and rewatch the whole series.”

According to Mason, Biscuit is pretty stressed out about the whole thing because there’s still a whole bunch of Law & Order: SVU and Grey’s Anatomy to catch up on on Hulu.

“At least her plan resets back to zero before the new season of Orange is the New Black comes out. That would have been devastating,” said Mason.

Via cracker_biscuits.