The Fluffington Post

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Kitten Implicated In Financial Malfeasance

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Kitten Implicated In Financial Malfeasance

Julliet, the kitten CEO of hedge fund Cuddle Capital, LP, has been accused by the SEC of short-selling toxic assets based on insider information.

“We’re not at liberty to disclose all the details of this investigation, and no arrests have been made,” Connor Black, an SEC spokesperson, said at a press conference on Sunday. “But this is a very serious matter, and we will be taking every step to ensure that kittens who engage in financial collusion pay the appropriate penalty.”

Via Pacificat Ragdolls.

Kitten Proposes to Secret Crush

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Kitten Proposes to Secret Crush

An area kitten named Cal finally worked up the nerve to propose to his dream girl. There was only one hitch – she had never met him.

“I was really taken aback,” says Kaitlyn Macavoy, who found Cal down on two knees with a diamond ring during her lunch break. “I’m really flattered. He seems like a sweet guy. But, buy a girl dinner first, am I right?”

Via stenston.

Dog and Cat Cover Gotye

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Dog and cat relationships never last.  Or that seems to be the message in this latest YouTube cover sensation, a dog and cat performing a faithful recreation of the music video for Gotye’s “Somebody That I Used to Know.”

Glee, eat your heart out.

Via Reddit.

Cat Protesters Occupy Bathroom Sink

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Cat Protesters Occupy Bathroom Sink

The Fluffington Post has received numerous reports that two local cats have locked themselves in the bathroom sink in an apparent protest against cat baths.  According to a statement released via a website attributed to the cats, the pair lead a growing movement among felines that seeks to redefine cat baths as between one cat and his tongue, or perhaps another cat’s tongue, but definitely not humans and a bathtub.

More on this story as it develops…

Via schuch.