PHOTO OP: Nooo! Don’t Leave Me!
Via lafar.
kitties
Area Cat Will Not Fit, Will Not Ship
Area Cat Will Not Fit, Will Not Ship
The US Postal Service’s flat rate priority mailers come with the guarantee that “if it fits, it ships,” regardless of weight. But a local cat named Monty, who was hoping to save some cash by shipping himself to Boca Raton to visit his grandmother this winter, has been having trouble getting into the box.
“He’s been trying every position he can think of to fit,” said close friend Christine Redmond. “I think he’s just going to have to break down and buy a plane ticket.”
It might not have mattered even if he had figured out how to fit in the box, however.
“Yeah, no, there’s no way we could mail him,” said USPS spokesperson Tony Rustigian. "We don’t ship cats.“
Via pawpageants.
Cat Campaigns for Fresher Sushi
Cat Campaigns for Fresher Sushi
When it comes to sushi, the fresher, the better. At least, that’s what amateur feline food writer Ubaldo thinks. According to Ubaldo’s latest culinary tips zine, which he has been distributing for 25 cents per copy outside of the local Whole Foods, sushi tastes better when it is made with the freshest ingredients.
The zine includes a call to action for local sushi restaurants to use only fresh and never frozen products in their food.
“Far be it from me to agree with a cat who clearly printed this so-called magazine at home and stapled it together,” said actual professional food critic Rusty von Warner, “but he’s right. Fresh fish is better.”
Via play4smee.
Cat Convicted on 2 Counts of Money Laundering
Cat Convicted on 2 Counts of Money Laundering
A federal judge has found local cat Roxie guilty of money laundering. The two-count conviction came down early Tuesday after a four-month trial.
“My client has done nothing wrong or immoral,” says Sal Maser, attorney for the defendant. “That cash was absolutely filthy. It just needed a spin cycle.”
Much of the case has centered around the meaning of “laundering” in a legal context, though many experts expect the ruling to stick.
“We certainly plan to appeal. We’ll take this to the Supreme Court if we have to,” Maser added.
Via Ca$hCats.
PHOTO OP: Fluffy Cat Is Not Impressed
PHOTO OP: Fluffy Cat Is Not Impressed
Via SolidScorpion.