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Cat Cop Schools Kittens on Dangers of Catnip

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Cat Cop Schools Kittens on Dangers of Catnip

By mirandate, FluffPo Correspondent

PORTLAND, OR – Officer George O’Tabby, a local officer in the CARE (Catnip Abuse Rejection Education) Program, is offering a free screening of the film Catnip: Egress to Oblivion? Wednesday night at 8 p.m. under the couch. The film is designed to educate young kittens on the dangers of catnip excess and prevent kitten participation in cat gangs. 

While critics of the CARE program point out that it presents mistruths and distortions about catnip to young kittens, a source close to Officer O’Tabby stated “Despite the CARE program’s flaws, O’Tabby enjoys mentoring kittens and washing their faces. They are warm and snuggly – wait, that makes him sound kind of dirty. Forget I said that. Are you recording this?”

Officer O’Tabby’s precinct captain hastened to confirm that his ethics record is spotless, though not free of stripes. However, the captain declined to comment on rumors regarding a catnip stash in O’Tabby’s cap and nightstick.

Via Pawesome.

Cat Annoyed by ‘Downton Abbey’ Spoilers

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Cat Annoyed by ‘Downton Abbey’ Spoilers

By mirandate, FluffPo Correspondent

St. Louis, MO – Francie, a cat who has long supported public television, became very annoyed Sunday when spoilers for this season’s Downton Abbey appeared on her Twitter feed. 

Lilia Vert, a source close to the situation, noted, “Every Sunday evening, I hang out with Francie on the couch and we watch Downton Abbey. She purrs all the time during that show. But when she checked Twitter Sunday morning, she found out this season’s big twist, and was so annoyed she horked up a big hairball. Right now I think she’s responding to the person who revealed the ending, even though I warned her that reading Twitter the night of a big TV broadcast was risky if she didn’t want to be spoiled. Ah, who am I kidding. She’s already pretty spoiled.”

Via Chris Erwin.

Area Cat Finds Shortcut to Six Pack Abs

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Area Cat Finds Shortcut to Six Pack Abs

According to multiple reports, a local cat has found a way to skip the gym and still maintain abs of steel.  

“Basically, he found an old shopping bag that has a picture of this really buff guy on the front, and he sits in it.  All day. Without moving,” said Laney Withers, who lives next door to the cat.  "It’s really not a very good trick, and no one is buying it.“

The cat could not be reached for comment.

Via mocas.

Cat Sits In Box; Doesn’t Get the Appeal

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Cat Sits In Box; Doesn’t Get the Appeal

An area cat named Sigge finally gave into peer pressure this morning and sat in a box in the kitchen.  Sitting in a box has been a hot trend in the feline world for the past couple of years, but until now, Sigge had resisted.

“To be honest, he was underwhelmed,” said Francis Nordquist, a source close to the situation.  "He sat in the box for awhile and was like, ‘Yeah, okay. Now what?’  He just didn’t get what the fuss was about.“

Sigge plans to try sitting in a larger box tomorrow to see if that’s any better.

Via mrmacitalooo.