kitties

Cat Stuck to Ceiling Following Freak Gravity Accident

Authorities are scrambling to figure out how to get Fluffer the cat down from the ceiling, where he has been trapped for five hours following a freak gravity accident early this morning.

Records indicate that there hasn’t been a gravity-related incident in nearly five years, until the fundamental force unexpectedly shut off at about 4:57am today. Fluffer was working in the control room when it happened.

“He was just sitting there, about to dunk his donut in a mug of coffee when, zoom, he zipped up to the ceiling and stuck there,” said Witney Lloyd, a co-worker who witnessed the incident from behind a pane of gravity-proof glass.

The situation has been stabilized, but gravity remains in flux and Fluffer is still stuck. Scientists from the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory in California are said to be enroute to try to work out a solution.

We’ll continue to update this story as it develops…

Via padmepaws.

PHOTO OP: Funny Face

Via brihou16.

Local Cat Has No Idea Where the Last Cupcake Went

A cat named Chester is insisting this morning that he has no idea what happened to the last cupcake. Though interrogated twice by leaders of the search party formed to locate the missing dessert, Chester maintains that he has no knowledge of its whereabouts.

“We don’t officially have enough evidence to accuse him of something,” said search leader Gerard Qualls, “but I’m not buying his story. His breath smelled a lot like buttercream.”

The search will continue throughout the day.

Via chesterthecatphotography.

Cat Always Blinks in Photos

A British Shorthair cat named Kitty is a real beauty. But there’s a problem for anyone trying to document her cuteness: she always blinks in photos.

“We’ve tried everything,” reported Lisa Cardini. “Short of taping them open, I don’t think it’s possible for her to take a picture without Kitty blinking.”

There are literally no good pics of Kitty. Vacation snapshots, Christmas cards, even her prom photos from last year show a cat with her eyes closed. Her Facebook friends still no idea what color her eyes are (green, by the way).

Via famous_kitty (who actually has plenty of shots with her eyes open).

Kitty Cuts Costs By Increasing Cuteness

Faced with massive potential layoffs in her department, an ingenious young kitten named Shetti figured out a way to cut costs by increasing cuteness.

“She realized that if she could boost cuteness by just 11%, she could actually slash costs by over 40%,” said company executive Marvin Luce. “Once she did that, her department went from one of the organization’s biggest losers to one of its biggest winners overnight.”

Because of the brilliant “more cute, more snuggles” strategy implemented by Shetti, her department is on track to turn its first profit since 2005 and could actually hire additional workers in the third quarter.

Via Merlijn Hoek.