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Dog Disappointed Manky Old Boot Isn’t Portkey

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Dog Disappointed Manky Old Boot Isn’t Portkey

A Golden Retriever from Brighton, UK is unsure how he’ll get to the Quidditch World Cup after discovering that a “manky old boot” he found on a nearby hill was in fact not a Portkey.

“I keep trying to tell him that Harry Potter was a book and there’s no such thing as a Portkey,” said Oswald Lubberstuck, a close friend of the dog. “But he just keeps searching on the Internet to see if he can locate an entrance to the ‘Floo Network’ or find a stopping point for the ‘Knight Bus’ nearby.”

Sources tell The Fluffington Post that the dog does not know how to Apparate.

Via aquilino_o.

Two-Headed Bunny Discovered

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Two-Headed Bunny Discovered

By Scott Friedstein, FluffPo Correspondent

Excitement has rocked the town of Manchester, Connecticut ever since a two-headed rabbit was spotted hopping about.

“I couldn’t believe it when I saw it,” says Pam Marsden, a resident who took in the animal. “It was one bunny – but it had two completely different-looking heads. As luck would have it, they both really enjoy salad.”

Others aren’t so amazed.

“That’s actually two rabbits,” says Randall Cregg, professor of zoology at Yale University, studying a photo. “If you look closely, you’ll see they’re sitting about an inch apart from one another – highly unusual in a case of polycephaly. If you asked me, I’d say that woman’s got two bunnies on her hands.”

Marsen could not be reached for further comment, as she had left to get more salad.

Via paperbits.

Architect Cat Fails to Deliver New Building Plans

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Architect Cat Fails to Deliver New Building Plans

Executives at banking giant Wells Fargo are beginning to regret hiring a cat to design their new regional headquarters in Tampa, FL. The company hired Bella, of Meowy Architectural Designs, to design their new building after the cat’s proposal won against a number of other bidders.

At first, things went well. Her first round of designs were well received and on-time. But now, she’s been missing deadlines left and right, sleeping through meetings, and generally turning in sloppy work.

“Last week she dropped off a series of blueprints that looked like they had been crumpled up into a ball and batted around the room,” said Wells Fargo SVP of Construction, Tom Juarez. “Plus, the plans included a ‘tuna vault’ that I am sure we never approved. Now she’s completely missed this week’s deadline.”

Sources indicate that Bella could be fired as early as Monday.

Via Alberto Chan.