animals

Local Cat Hates Mondays

According to sources familiar with the situation, an area cat named Charcoal has a serious case of the Mondays. Reports indicate that Charcoal hit the snooze button at least four times this morning and was no more cheery when she got to work.

“She has been a total grump this morning,” says co-worker Lawrence Poliakov. “She climbed up onto her desk, knocked a bunch of paperclips and pencils on the floor, and went to sleep on her keyboard.  I had to cover for her at the weekly all-hands, where she was a no-show.”

Poliakov concedes that while Charcoal has been particularly cantankerous this morning, her usual mood is not overly convivial.

“Tuesdays are no walk in the part either,” says Poliakov.

Via yiwen511.

Cat Only Plays Cat Monopoly

By Scott Friedstein, FluffPo Correspondent

Attendees of Princess the cat’s weekly “Game Night” will be disappointed to find out that the approved version of Monopoly is far from standard. In fact, Princess will only play “Cat-Opoly,” the only Monopoly designed by and for cats. 

“I hate playing that game,” says Sharon Lundbergh, a friend. “Unless you’re a cat, it doesn’t even make sense. Like, instead of collecting $200 when you pass ‘Go,’ you just get a bunch of tuna. What can you even do with that?" 

Via Justin Kazar.