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Area Dog Victim of Drive By Woofing

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Area Dog Victim of Drive By Woofing

Police are investigating a drive by woof attack in the Glendale neighborhood.  According to reports, the woofing took place around 3pm this afternoon and the victim was identified as a Pomeranian mix named Lucky. 

“It seemed random,” said police Sgt. Glen Watkins. “Lucky doesn’t have any known associates who would antagonize him in this way.”

At least one witness isn’t so sure.

“It sure seemed like that other dog knew him,” said Jemma Adler. “The whole thing was really deliberate.”

The assailant is still at large, though authorities are looking for a dark blue Passat.

Via rocky_daoleuxay.

Kitty Cuts Costs By Increasing Cuteness

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Kitty Cuts Costs By Increasing Cuteness

Faced with massive potential layoffs in her department, an ingenious young kitten named Shetti figured out a way to cut costs by increasing cuteness.

“She realized that if she could boost cuteness by just 11%, she could actually slash costs by over 40%,” said company executive Marvin Luce. “Once she did that, her department went from one of the organization’s biggest losers to one of its biggest winners overnight.”

Because of the brilliant “more cute, more snuggles” strategy implemented by Shetti, her department is on track to turn its first profit since 2005 and could actually hire additional workers in the third quarter.

Via Merlijn Hoek.

Local Kitten Gives Really Sarcastic Advice

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Local Kitten Gives Really Sarcastic Advice

Sometimes advice from Thor the kitten can be hurtful.

Like when friend Libby Valero was upset that someone at work was swiping her paperclips, and Thor sarcastically suggested she go to the police. That’s Thor’s problem: he’s really sarcastic.

“He gets away with it though,” said another friend, Tom Houppert. “Because he’s so adorable. But it can sting, really.”

Then again, people still keep coming to the cat for advice. “Yeah, I can’t explain that,” admitted Houppert. “Some people are just gluttons for punishment. Super cute, incredibly soft, huggable punishment.”

Via tayberry_jag.