animals

Samsonite Promises ‘Room for Cats’ in Latest Latest Luggage Line

Samsonite, the leading manufacturer of suitcases and other travel gear, has debuted a new line of luggage that touts extra space for traveling kitties.

“They’re just going to climb in there while you’re packing anyway,” says the company’s spokesperson Amanda Wasserstein. “The Feline Comfort line is specially engineered to adhere to all of your cat’s natural curves and ensure the best possible fit. Also, the suitcases come standard with those rolly wheels that change direction, because what is this, the Middle Ages?”

The new suitcases are expected to hit stores in early November, just in time for the holiday travel rush.

Via scumbagcoley.

Expert: The Kitten Uprising Will Happen Soon

According to feline sociologist Alistair Waters at the University of Waterloo in Ontario Canada, a kitten uprising is imminent.

Waters has been assembling a meta-study consisting of numerous research papers by other acclaimed feline experts, including the seminal work “How to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you” by The Oatmeal. His conclusion is that a full-fledged cat rebellion is likely to occur anytime in the next five years, and it won’t be pretty.

“There will be plenty of split milk,” wrote Waters on his blog. “If you’re smart, now is the time to get a dog, maybe two.”

Others are less convinced. Mike Pezza, a felinologistologist (that’s the study of people who study cats) from Fordham University believes that Waters is blowing things way out of proportion.

“The kitty apocalypse doomsayers have been spouting this nonsense for the past sixty years,” said Pezza. “It’s always 5 years away, but it never comes.”

Via Coopa10.