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Area Dog Not Ashamed to Admit He Needs Help With the Basics

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A local bulldog named Sir Duke has begun a six week, self-directed course designed to make him a better dog, according to sources close to the situation.

Friends say the dog realized he needed help when the other day he could not remember which end of the leash attached to his collar. So he asked for help.

“It was the little things,” said roommate Jordan Cox, who spoke to The Fluffington Post via Slack chat. “You know, he’d eat the cat’s food instead of his own and not even notice, or he’d bark at a friend but let the mailman up to the house without a peep. The collar thing was rock bottom.”

Cox and another friend, Dellin DeLong, sought out ways to help Duke regain his “dogness.”

“We went online and did a search, and after a bit we landed on this Skillshare course about being a better bulldog,” said DeLong. “We got all the required books on Amazon and Duke’s about halfway through.”

There is already an improvement, said Cox. “The other day, I got a package from FedEx and Duke went into a conniption like five minutes before the truck even pulled up out front,” he said. “Slowly but surely, he’s getting his mojo back.”

Via sirdukesworld.

Cat to Child: We Are Not Watching ‘Curious George’ Again

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There’s only so much a cat can take. After the fifth consecutive time watching the same episode of Curious George (S7E4, “Toot Toot Tootsie Goodbye”), Tiger the cat had enough, and according to reports, refused to watch again no matter how many times four-year-old Billy Anderson asked.

“Usually, Tiger’s a really good babysitter,” said Alice Anderson, Billy’s mother. “He has a great rating on Care.com and he’s been awesome with Billy. Very patient for a cat.”

But, said Anderson, her son has been on a big Curious George kick of late. 

“He just can’t get enough of that monkey,” she said. “And you know how four-year-olds are – he’ll watch the same episode on repeat for hours. He has the whole thing memorized.”

When Billy requested “Georgie!” (as he calls it) for the sixth time, that’s when Tiger lost it. He refused to put on Curious George and instead queued up something on Netflix that he wanted to watch.

“Pulp Fiction,” said Anderson. “I mean, great movie, but not really age appropriate. Billy’s been going around the house the past two days daring me to say ‘what’ again. It’s… not what you want.”

Anderson said she’ll probably not be hiring Tiger again, but she won’t give him a bad rating on Care.com because she “gets it.”

Via opkacz.

BREAKING: Walker’s Union On Strike

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The Dog Walker’s Union (Local 704) announced today that they are striking immediately and indefinitely until their demands are met. Union leaders, who represent dog and puppy roommates across the U.S., cite low wages and demoralizing work conditions as sources of the conflict.

“Our members have to go outside, often in the freezing cold, and scoop poop off the sidewalks and streets of our communities,” said Harold Chiles, a union rep, in a press release issued Wednesday. “And what do they get in return? A tail wag? A nose nuzzle? It’s not enough. It’s time we stand up for better benefits.”

It’s not yet clear what impact this will have on the canine community. A walk-out on this scale has never happened, though the Walker Strike of 1974 came close. Similar union grievances shut down the walking industry across the entire eastern U.S., leaving trail of poop in its wake.

The Fluffington Post will update this story as it develops.

via @ashleeaitken