Cat-Owned Contractor Wins Safety Award

Feline-owned and operated Alley Katz Painting Contractors, LLC has been awarded a “Top Safety” rating by the local area chamber of commerce for their spotless workplace safety record.  Alley Katz hasn’t had an accident on the job in the 36 months since opening for business.

Unfortunately for the firm, the favorable chamber of commerce safety rating was paired with an unfavorable consumer satisfaction score.  "We’ve just had too many complaints of napping while on the clock,“ said chamber of commerce president, Alex Greenberg.  "They may be very careful at Alley Katz, but they also barely get any actual work done.”

Via kmaraj.

PHOTO OP: The Dark Cat Rises

Via @SrtaNeGRa.

Cat Opens 24-Hour Laundromat

Tired of looking for work in a down economy, a cat named Jake has taken a bank loan and started his own business – a 24-hour laundromat on the corner of Metcalfe and 7th Street.

“He’s still setting up the machines,” says Ted Borger of the loocal chamber of commerce. “But I think he’ll succeed. It fills a real need in this neighborhood.”

Via jesmew.