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Garmin Releases Global Positioning Kitten

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Garmin Releases Global Positioning Kitten

Navigation electronics company Garmin debuted its latest consumer product on Tuesday. Dubbed the GPK (global positioning kitten), the device is dashboard mountable, and promises to aid drivers with pinpoint, turn-by-turn directions without a distracting animated map.

“Just get out on the road,” says Justin Willis, communications director for the company’s North American operations. “The GPK will purr if you’re headed in the right direction and mew if you’ve made a wrong turn – no pesky satellites required. It’s the cutting edge in ridiculously adorable navigation software.”

Via austinhasil.

Brooklyn Dog Raises $1.2 Million for Tech Startup

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Brooklyn Dog Raises $1.2 Million for Tech Startup

An enterprising pooch named Ranger has just inked a deal with venture capital firm Innovation Partners for a cool $1.2 million. The money will be used to staff up a new Internet company called WoofMix.com, based in Brooklyn, NY. According to sources, a portion of the cash is already earmarked for incorporation and legal expenses.

So, what does WoofMix plan to do?

“We’re not entirely sure,” says Jeremy Shoemacher, an investor with Innovation Partners. “But Ranger wears a hoodie to work, so he must know what he’s doing with that whole Internet business thing, right?”

Shoemacher later added, “Right? RIGHT?! Oh God, I’m so fired, aren’t I?”

Submitted by Emily Banks.

Penguin Candidate Clings to Flightless Presidential Campaign

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Penguin Candidate Clings to Flightless Presidential Campaign

Hugh Wilmore, life-long penguin and presidential candidate for the Avian Americans Party, is pressing forward in his bid for the White House, despite the resignation of three top advisers who insist he stands no chance in November.

“He’s a third-party candidate who flipper-flopped – if you will – on too many important issues,” says Ted Cortese, political analyst for antarctico.com. “Iceberg mining will create jobs? What is that?”

“He’s out there again today, waving to crowds and pecking babies,” a Wilmore campaign official tells The Fluffington Post under condition of anonymity. “It’s just embarrassing at this point. He wasn’t even invited to the debates.”

Photo republished with permission from the book Animal Encyclopedia. Copyright ©2012 National Geographic Society. Available wherever books are sold.