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Morkie Cast as Yoda in ‘Star Wars VII’

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Morkie Cast as Yoda in ‘Star Wars VII’

After Disney’s acquisition of Lucasfilm and its venerable Star Wars franchise, there has been much speculation about the future of the film series. When sci-fi director J.J. Abrams was tapped to reboot the next chapter of the space saga, fans breathed a cautious sigh of relief. But not much is known about the pre-production of Episode VII – that is, until now.

“We’re thrilled to announce that Master Yoda will be played by Franklin, a fresh-faced morkie from New York City,” reads a press release from Lucasfilm, issued this morning. “We think this choice will inject new life into the classic Star Wars character. Mr. Abrams is very excited to work with him.”

Fans of the movies will be quick to point out that Yoda dies in Episode VI: Return of the Jedi. The release addresses this point:

“Though Yoda passes on, he becomes one with The Force, and Mr. Abrams is looking forward to exploring his character as a ‘Force Ghost.’”

Early fan reaction to the relatively unknown canine actor has been mixed.

“I can’t say I’m thrilled about a dog playing Yoda,” says Kenny Horvath, who moderates a popular Star Wars message board on the Internet. “But at least it’s not Ben Affleck.”

Via @StephMBuck.

Cat Can’t Sleep Because of All the Racket

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Cat Can’t Sleep Because of All the Racket

A local cat named Fluffy (above right) has filed a noise complaint with the university housing office about his college roommate. 

“Fluffy has two roommates, Chaz and Brando,” explained mediator Sarah Davis. “Chaz is fine – he mostly just sleeps – but Brando is a big problem, according to Fluffy.”

The complaint alleges that Brando is up at all hours making noise, which has made it difficult for Fluffy to concentrate on schoolwork. Brando doesn’t deny any of the claims.

“He basically thinks, ‘It’s college, deal with it,’” said Davis. “But that’s not how we operate. We put academics first at this institution.”

The university is expected to move Fluffy to a new room next week and place Brando on probation.

Via WarzauWynn.

Kitten Lifeguard Admits She Can’t Swim

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Kitten Lifeguard Admits She Can’t Swim

In a shocking revelation made exclusively to The Fluffington Post, a spokesperson for kitten lifeguard Lilly claims she never learned how to swim.

“Lilly deeply regrets any miscommunication about her job duties,” says Turner Knowlton. “When she was hired, everything just happened so fast. She didn’t have a chance to inform pool officials that she’s not the strongest swimmer.”

Community members, however, are outraged.

“It’s a major safety issue,” says Candice Jiminez, a local resident. “When our kids swim in the pool, we need to know they’re being looked after. The town needs to start vetting these employees more thoroughly.”

Via McSandwichMaker.