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Cat Announces Major Advance In String Theory

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Cat Announces Major Advance In String Theory

by Anna Washenko, FluffPo Correspondent

Sophie, a cat from Boston, announced a new breakthrough in string theory. For years, she’s dedicated her life to studying advanced particle physics at MIT, with a focus on cosmic yarn threads. 

Her recent discovery is that a concentrated entanglement with high-quality yarn creates a quantum state of relaxation. 

While Sophie is confident that her discovery has moved physicists one big step closer to finding a unified theory of everything, the scientific community at large seems skeptical of whether relaxation and playtime could indeed be the solution to that elusive theory. 

“Sophie’s ideas about quantum relaxation are certainly original,” said Dr. Felix Baumer, a colleague at MIT. “However, I’m not sure if a human physicist will be able to replicate her study results. We’ll see what the data says.”

Via Ricky Buchanan.

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Hippie Dog Plans First Ever ‘Woofstock’

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Hippie Dog Plans First Ever ‘Woofstock’

by Scott Friedstein, FluffPo Correspondent

Sadie was always a “groovy” dog.

The pooch’s stubborn adherence to hippie culture and love for all things 60’s has made her a unique presence at the dog park – and now she’s taking things a step further.

In the ultimate attempt at recreating the Summer of Love, the dog has made plans to stage the first-ever “Woofstock.”

“It’ll be three days of peace and love, and probably some barking,” says Casey Donahue, a friend. “Just imagine that concert from ’69, but with dogs. That’s really the best way I can explain it.”

Though the lineup has yet to be revealed, industry insiders expect some big names to join the bill.

“Word is The Dave Bark Five will be there,” says Paul Weathers, senior editor at Pitchfork. “Possibly The Mamas and the Puppies. You might even see The Growling Stones. If you’re a dog, I’d book tickets early – it’s gonna be far out, man.”

Woofstock is expected to kick off in late summer, directly after Meowtamont. 

Via Skyote.

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Cat Claims to Be Working, Actually Just Playing Candy Crush

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Cat Claims to Be Working, Actually Just Playing Candy Crush

When Fresno the cat called in sick to work on Monday, he told his boss it was because he had been up all weekend working on the TPS reports that were due midweek. Though there is some truth to that – he spent most of Friday finishing the reports – the real reason he hadn’t slept was a particularly difficult level of Candy Crush Saga. 

According to roommate Harvey Quinn, who spoke to The Fluffington Post because he wanted to “get back at Fresno for chewing up his iPhone charger cord,” the cat spent most of the weekend trying to beat level 181.

“He’s trying to get 3 stars on every cleared level,” explained Quinn, “so 181 is pretty hard. You need 65,000 points in 50 moves.”

Quinn said Fresno barely got any sleep and replayed the level hundreds of times.

“You could hear him meowing in frustration all weekend,” said Quinn. “I tried to get him to just watch a YouTube cheat video, but he refused. Something about wanting his victory to be sweet.”

Fresno could not be reached for comment.

Via itsjessecatsopolis.

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