REPORT: Bruno Mars Is Actually a Dog

by Scott Friedstein, FluffPo Correspondent

According to a recent investigative report by the Chicago Sun Times, the singer Bruno Mars is actually a Siberian Husky named Miles. The pup has apparently been masquerading as the “human” recording artist since 2008.

“I was shocked,” says Keith McDowell, the report’s author. McDowell alleges that the dog has used advanced auto-tune technology to transform his barks and yelps into Mars’ smooth tenor vocals.

“I bought the CDs and went to the concerts. Had I known he was just yet another puppy using auto-tune, I might not have," says McDowell. "He got to play the Super Bowl. Let that sink in for a second. I’m glad I blew the lid off this thing once and for all.”

At press time, Miles was not taking any questions, this according to his “newly-hired” attorney Clint Barksman.

Via iheartmiles.

PHOTO OP: I’ve Got This Selfie Thing Down

Via little_millicent.

Bakery Employs Puppy Taste Tester

by Scott Friedstein, FluffPo Correspondent

When it comes to new items, New York’s Dominique Ansel Bakery doesn’t take any chances. The famed patisserie recently hired a Golden Retriever puppy named Paisley to test its sweet treats before they hit the shelves. The results, as they say, speak for themselves.  

“So far, she’s liked everything,” says head pastry chef Michael Cortis. “The DKA and Salted Pistachio Religieuse both tested exceptionally well. If it’s good enough for Paisley, it’s usually good enough for customers.”

The discerning pup has first dibs on nearly everything the bakery sells – except the world-famous Cronut.

“Oh, we don’t let her test those,” says Cortis. “She has to wait in line like everybody else.”

Via jasminejane.