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Dog Attains ‘Grandmaster’ Status in World Chess Championship
A German Shepherd named Hudson has defeated 15 consecutive opponents in an international chess tournament to become the World Chess Federation’s latest Grandmaster.
“It was touch-and-go against that one French guy,” says chess fan and avid tournament watcher Gary Swoope. “But Hudson has a killer endgame. He turned the tables pretty quickly with some reciprocal zugzwang, then bam! Checkmate!”
Submitted by Allison Wilhelm.
Poodle Confesses to Smoothie Addiction
A red toy poodle by the name of Pumpkin has finally come clean on what friends and family have suspected for some time: he’s hopelessly addicted to green smoothies.
“He’d come home with veggie juice in his beard and that classic celery breath,” says Linda Winstead, a former roommate. “He’d never cop to it, but we knew he was using. I’m glad he’s finally admitting it. That’s the first step.”
Submitted by Pumpkin & Sunshine.
Bunny Is Top Contender for Spring Beauty Pageant
A number of beauty pageant watchers have singled out Elway, a 2-year-old bunny from Issaquah, WA, as a top contender for the spring season.
“He’s very photogenic, and he wears floral well,” says Rhonda Conway, who has judged pageants for 12 years. “He doesn’t have much prepared for the talent portion, but damn he looks good in a bikini.”
Submitted by Harn Chiu.
REVEALED: Dog’s Private New Year’s Bash Was a Bust
Didn’t get an invitation to Olive’s Party Rockin’ New Year’s Eve-a-Palooza™? You’re not alone.
The event was so exclusive, only the highest of society were invited. There’s a reason New York Magazine named it among the “top 10 hottest parties in Manhattan.”
There was only one problem: No one showed up.
Exclusive photos obtained by The Fluffington Post reveal a lonely pup in an empty apartment, strewn with confetti.
“It’s likely she over-shot with the guest list,” says gossip columnist Rebecca Holtz. “You can’t invite Barack Obama, Roger Federer and Freddie Mercury and expect those kinds of people to attend. Freddie’s been dead for 20 years, for crying out loud.”
Submitted by Nina Frazier.
Dog Endures Milkbone Hangover After New Year’s Partying
Los Angeles pup Moose Bearclaw woke up with some regrets about last night’s reveling. According to eye witnesses, he had hopped between at least three different venues before gorging on Milkbones and passing out at his friend Mike’s house.
“He was rolling over, doing tricks, singing at the top of his lungs,” says Candice Mills, one party goer. “He was obviously pretty blasted.”
Mr. Bearclaw awoke this morning with a terrible headache, wearing the same outfit from the night before.
“It’s a good thing he’s off from work today,” says Mills. “There’s no way he could cut hair with that hangover.”
Submitted by Candice Kim.
