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Hamster Shocked to Find Un-Frosted Mini Wheats in Bowl
James, an area hamster and food connoisseur, was “appalled” by what he found in his bowl yesterday evening, according to sources close to the situation.
“Plain mini wheats,” says Jacklyn Keppler, a family friend. “I mean, who in their right mind would eat un-frosted mini wheats? It just doesn’t make any sense. I have no idea how they ended up in James’s bowl, but we’re looking into it.”
Via @jenz270.
Guinea Pig Disaster Movie Announced
By Scott Friedstein, FluffPo Correspondent
In what’s sure to be great news for fans of epic disaster films and guinea pigs, Warner Bros. Pictures has announced its latest offering in an official press release. Slated for Summer 2013, Piggies N’ Asteroids promises to be the blockbuster at least some of America was waiting for.
“We’re really excited about it,” says Chairman and CEO Barry Meyer. “There’s never been a film on this scale, with an all-guinea pig cast. We’re telling the story of an ordinary piggy asked to do extraordinary things, because of all the asteroids. It’s a very human drama. But with guinea pigs.”
Via Castaway in Scotland.
POLL: Voters Tired of Chipmunk’s Stump Speech
According to a new poll from ABC News and The Washington Post, voters are beginning to tire of the rhetoric from chipmunk congressional candidate Tino Honeydew.
“He’s been trotting out essentially the same speech since July,” said ABC News assistant political director Monica Loney. "Our polling shows that voters are just tiring of hearing that same message over and over. They want to hear something new from Honeydew.“
While polls indicate the chipmunk still has a slim lead over his opponent, he has failed so far to create any separation, leading some political analysts to predict this election will come down to the wire.
Via Giles Gonthier.
Guinea Pig Roommates Share Food, Hats
We already know that hats are en vogue for cats, but guinea pigs are not to be outdone. New York City piggies Mischka and Leela share an apartment, but they also like the same foods and fashions. Though they can only afford one fez, they alternate days wearing it.
“Monday, Wednesday and Friday, I’ll see Leela wearing it,” says Clyde Tilman, who lives in the apartment below. “Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, it’s Mischka. Sundays are always up for grabs though.”
Submitted by Emma Roth.
Hamster’s Theater Debut Spoiled by Stage Fright
Reginald Fuzzybottom, the legendary hamster actor of the British stage, was set to make his American debut as Hamlet in the new off-Broadway adaptation of the Shakespeare play, when he was struck by an uncharacteristic bout of stage fright.
“We’re not really sure what happened,” said stage manager Alex Cornwall, who had to send out Fuzzybottom’s understudy, bunny thespian Oliver Hoppers, at the last minute. "One second Reggie was running lines with our leading lady, and the next, he’d locked himself in his cage and refused to come out.“
Critics said Hoppers’ performance was admirable, but unless Fuzzybottom gets his act together, the theater is expected to have trouble selling tickets for the remainder of the engagement.
Via pepsitiff.
