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Post Office Raises Rates on Overnight Puppy Delivery

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Post Office Raises Rates on Overnight Puppy Delivery

More bad news for the USPS. Plummeting revenue has forced the Postmaster General to hike rates on the overnight delivery of puppies. This comes on the heels of a recent price increase on first-class kittens.

“We have to raise rates to keep up with rising fuel costs,” says Harold Lemon, spokesperson for the USPS. “Shipping puppies gets expensive.”

Many in the canine shipping industry are concerned.

“I’ve been shipping puppies with the Post Office for 29 years,” says Greg Lewis, co-founder of the Puppy of the Month Club. “This might be the year I switch to UPS.”

Submitted by Melissa A. Bell.

Poodle Guitarist Only Plays Telecasters

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Poodle Guitarist Only Plays Telecasters

In an interview with Rolling Stone Magazine, the manager of legendary guitarist Maru the White Poodle says the pup is loyal to Fender, and only plays Telecasters these days.

“He has quite a collection, many different colors and tone variations,” Gil Foreman tells Rolling Stone. “He likes to match his guitar and his outfit on stage. It’s an instrument and a fashion accessory.”

Maru has put his signature Tele twang on the albums and concerts of greats, including Bob Dylan, Merle Haggard and more recently, The Wiggles.

Via @PoodleMaru.

Local Pup Desperately Needs a Bath

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Local Pup Desperately Needs a Bath

Cambria, a Yorkie-Maltese mix (or “Morkie,” as the kids say) is in dire need of a cleaning, according to reports out of her hometown.  The pup apparently found a mud puddle and “went to town,” said one witness.  

“She’ll definitely be taking a bath,” said bystander Chuck Philips. “But, you know, even spattered in muck, she’s still quite cute.  Isn’t she?  Who’s a dirty puppy…?  Who’s a dirty… yes, you are… yes you are!  I’m sorry, what were we talking about?”

Via artisticsiren.

Area Dog is Terrible at Hide-and-Seek

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Area Dog is Terrible at Hide-and-Seek

Sorry, Sparky.  The verdict is in, and you just aren’t very good at hide-and-seek.  According to experts from the Yard Game, Tag and Hide-and-Seek Authority (YGTHSA), a local golden retriever names Sparky is just terrible at hide-and-seek.

“He picks awful hiding places and keeps coming out before he’s found,” said YGTHSA treasurer Angus Van Smoot.  "It’s like he doesn’t understand the rules at all.“

Via mikokox_x.

Area Dog Loses Bet

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Area Dog Loses Bet

By Scott Friedstein, FluffPo Correspondent

On the surface, Jack the Shih Tzu and Remy the Retriever appear to be the best of friends. However, neighbors report that under this friendly facade lies a fierce competition for dominance that, more often than not, results in unfortunate consequences.

Such was the case this week when, as witnesses tell The Fluffington Post, Jack brazenly agreed to a bet put forth by Remy. “So basically the gist of it was, ‘I bet that you can eat that whole bowl of kibble. If you can’t, you have to dress up like a pumpkin.’” says Fred Hillman, a source close to the two. “Oh man, Remy got him good." 

According to dog expert Kenneth Phelps, competitive antics like this are often par for the course, especially during the formative years. "You see this kind of stuff all the time,” says Phelps. “Dog bets another dog, that dog loses, has to do something stupid." 

Phelps admits that the pumpkin costume was "especially harsh,” but notes Jack’s resiliency throughout the ordeal. “Oh yeah, Jack’ll get him him back,” Phelps continues. “This is still anyone’s game.”

Via mszu.