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Dog CEO Fires Entire Staff Over Insulting Email

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Dog CEO Fires Entire Staff Over Insulting Email

Rusty, the head of BaconWorld Enterprises, has terminated all 236 of his employees after an anonymous, company-wide email accused the canine CEO of wearing a toupee.

“No wonder nobody got raises last year. Captain Moneybags spent all the profits on that rug.”

Despite a company-wide HR inquiry, the culprit behind the insulting message would not confess, and Rusty made good on his promise to fire everyone if nobody took responsibility.

“You try finding another bacon-focused job in this economy,” says Randy Goodwell, one of the terminated employees, who packed his desk on Monday. “We all had a good laugh, but we’re all paying the price for someone else’s prank.”

Submitted by Chris Overpeck.

Local Dog Loses a Bundle on the ‘Puppy Bowl’

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Local Dog Loses a Bundle on the ‘Puppy Bowl’

An area pup named Toby has reportedly lost a lot of money on this year’s ‘Puppy Bowl,’ which aired yesterday on Animal Planet. The dog apparently put a good deal of cash down that Chestnut, a Labrador Retriever/Australian Shepherd mix, would be able to take care of the ball.

But late in the second quarter, Chestnut fumbled, leading directly to a touchdown for the other team and costing Toby a bunch of money.

He also bet on Sally, a Dachshund/Basset Hound mix, for MVP honors. The MVP award actually went to Schnauzer/Beagle mix Marta. 

“Yeah, he lost a bundle,” said friend Stanley Webster. “But hey, at least the kitty half time show was awesome!”

Via toby_dog.

Dog Claims Innocence in Shoe Heist

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Dog Claims Innocence in Shoe Heist

Accused shoe chewer, Coronado the dog, has entered a plea of “not guilty” in the court case against him. He stands accused of stealing two pairs of very expensive high heels and savagely chewing them.

The dog swears he’s never touched a shoe in his life, admitting that he has more of a taste for newspapers.

The prosecution is expected to argue that the dog is lying, however, and will point to an early police report that described the dog’s breath as “reeking of Jimmy Choo.”

Via QualityFrog.

Jimmy Fallon’s Puppies Predict Super Bowl Champs

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https://youtube.com/watch?v=Pe3OOac4liQ

A team of golden retriever puppies at Late Night With Jimmy Fallon has been poring over statistics and game films for three months in an attempt to pull a “Nate Silver” and mathematically predict the winner of Super Bowl XLVII.

The results of their labor has been captured in the footage above.

Via Late Night.