puppies

Puppies Locked in Heated Custody Battle Over Stick

Ralph and Biggie, two dogs from the Boston, MA area, are going toe-to-toe in the courts for custody of a stick they found while playing in a field last week.

“Ralph employed the time-tested ‘finder’s keepers’ defense,” said legal scholar Fred Axelrod, “while Biggie has argued that he saw the stick first. This one could go ten rounds.”

Both pups are expected to call character witnesses tomorrow.

Via rosieprimrose.

Dog Wins 2nd Prize in Regional Spelling Bee

A bearded collie named Chamomile bested 53 opponents in the Northwest Regional American Spelling Bee on Tuesday, taking home second prize. It’s her fifth ribbon in three years.

“This bee was absolutely riveting ” says Carolyn West, who moderated the competition at Chicago’s Twin Oaks High School. “I’ve never seen such fierce determination.”

According to reports, the action heated up when it came down to the final five.

“Chamomile went toe-to-paw with an eighth grader from Michigan,” says West. “We’re talking about words like ‘prospicience’ and ‘esquamulose.’ She barked through those like it was nothing. The second-to-last round almost tripped her up, but she stalled by asking for a definition. Eventually, she worked it out.”

In the end, though, first prize went to AJ O’Connor, a 10th grade student from Oregon.

“I know Chamomile was disappointed, but second place is nothing to sneeze at,” says West. “There’s some serious scholarship money attached, and the top colleges will come calling.”

Via The-Voice-Of-Steel. Originally published on HelloGiggles.

Puppy Beats the Heat with Innovative Butt Freezer

Champ, a bulldog from Houston, TX, wasn’t a happy camper. Recent mid-90s temperatures were just too much for the puppy, who prefers much more mild temps.  So Champ decided to do something about it.

After a few days of sketching ideas, the innovative dog figured out how to repurpose the refrigerator into a heat-beating, butt freezing machine.

Champ recently presented his invention to applause at the local community hacker space. He’s considering launching a Kickstarter to raise money for a first production run.

Via sumoflorides.

PHOTO OP: Just Keep Swimming

Via @burberrynchai.

Even This Puppy Finds Kanye West ‘Extremely Off-Putting’

A puppy named Grover expressed frustration with rapper Kanye West in a statement released by his office on Thursday. The statement describes West as “extremely off-putting,” especially with regard to his recent interview with The New York Times, in which West is quoted saying things like: “It’s only led me to complete awesomeness at all times. It’s only led me to awesome truth and awesomeness. Beauty, truth, awesomeness. That’s all it is.”

West’s most recent album Yeezus, which was leaked to the Internet on June 14th, has left many critics baffled by his boundless ego.

“One of the songs is called ‘I Am a God,’ for f***’s sake,” reads Grover’s memo. “It really doesn’t get douchier than that.”

Via justutis.