puppies

For Brooklyn Dog, Hanukkah Is All About the Jelly Donuts

Friend of a Brooklyn dog named Morrie say that he has lost site of the true meaning of Hanukkah.

“For him it’s not about the celebration of a miracle,” said close friend Elisha Mendelson. “It’s not even about the presents. It’s just about the food. Latkes, sure, but mainly the sufganiyot. Boy, does that pup have a sweet tooth.”

According to Mendelson, Morrie can down seven or eight of the traditional jelly-filled donuts – each night. 

“It adds up,” she said. “By the time we’re lighting that last candle, he’s noticeably heavier.”

Via istolethetv.

Scientists Discover Happiest Puppy

Twice in the past editors at The Fluffington Post have thought they had discovered the happiest dog on earth: once a year ago and then again four months ago. Not so, say scientists at Sapienza University of Rome, who point to Ellie, whose happiness levels are off the charts.

“Ellie may literally be the happiest dog alive right now,” said researcher Salvatore Magliocco. “Ellie’s showing extremely elevated levels of serotonin and an increased number of endorphins. She’s just really happy, all the time.”

Off the charts happy, according to Magliocco, who says that Ellie’s general mood is unprecedented. When compared to other dogs on record, Ellie is nearly twice as happy by most metrics.

“She never seems sad,” he said. “We’d expect this amount of happiness to come with some manic tendencies, but she’s all peaks, no valleys. This is just one happy dog!”

Via eduardo-suave. 

Boston Terrier Upset Over NSA Spying

The seemingly endless parade of leaks coming from Edward Snowden and The Guardian newspaper have done nothing for Louie’s nerves. The Boston Terrier has followed the news of the National Security Agency’s vast domestic spying program with a veracity some of his friends say “border on paranoia.”

“He’s afraid to use email or his cell phone,” says Alice Gran, a source close to the situation. “Louie’s sticking to analog communications only – barking, whimpering, pooping in people’s shoes. I mean, I’m as upset as anyone over the spying stuff, but life without Facebook? That’s a little extreme.”

Via melsbels83.

Puppy Sues Landlord Over Faulty Plumbing

A puppy named Mosby had barely settled in to his brand new, one-bedroom apartment when he noticed something was amiss.

“The water pressure was really low,” says Molly McManus, a neighbor in the same building. “Just a trickle from the faucet and showerhead. And the toilet wouldn’t really flush.”

Mosby has consequently filed a lawsuit against the management company for a whopping $1.2 million.

“It was a week before Prism Properties fixed the issue,” says Mosby’s attorney Richard Roberts. “That’s seven days of pain and suffering without a strong shower or warm bath. You think this puppy’s fluffy fur just comes out like that? He needs water pressure!”

Sources tell The Fluffington Post that the judge hearing the case is expected to laugh long and hard before dismissing it outright.

Via eefdabeef.