kitties

Cat Taxi Posts Disappointing Quarterly Earnings

Kitty Kab, the on demand feline taxi service, reported disappointing quarterly earning this morning.

The company made waves last year when it launched in Portland, OR, named in 2013 as the most dog friendly city in America. Critics were skeptical of the wisdom of launching a cat taxi in a city dominated by canines, but the move paid off. 

“As it turned out, a lot of cats didn’t want to be out alone with all those puppies on the loose, so they’d call a cab,” said tech analyst Trish Patel of Business Insider. That early success led to rapid expansion to other cities – San Francisco, New York, Chicago, Atlanta – and an IPO in the fall.

But the very thing that drove success for Kitty Kab initially has been a hindrance to its growth. 

“It was just a mirage,” explained Patel. “The large concentration of dogs in Portland increased demand for the taxi service, but in other cities cats don’t want to be driven around.”

Kitty Kab’s user base in cities outside of Portland has stagnated as a result, while marketing costs have skyrocketed, leading to a $12 million shortfall this quarter. 

The Fluffington Post  hears that the company is exploring raising a $20 million round of venture financing to stay afloat, as well as considering a pivot to on-demand catnip delivery.

Via Kiersten Essenpreis.

5 Ways to Embarrass Your Cat

Everyone knows cats need to be taken down a peg. They always think they’re so cool. They strut around like they own the place.

A certain amount of kitty embarrassment is not only acceptable, according to leading feline psychologists, it’s recommended. Cat embarrassment is the most often advised method of treating feline narcissistic personality disorder (which is a certified real thing).

That’s why we here at The Fluffington Post fully endorse the Notso Kitty Shop on Etsy, purveyor of the fine cat headgear you see above.

Check it out – before your cat owns you.

PHOTO OP: Peek-a-boo

Via dadamerci.

Cat Appointed Head Ranger at National Park

After three years toiling as an assistant ranger at Virginia’s Shenandoah National Park, a cat named Buckles has finally ascended the ranks.

“He knew the trails better than the bosses,” says Steven Collier, a fellow assistant. “Not to mention that time he saved a family of campers from a bear.”

The Parks Service formally recognized Buckles in a ceremony Wednesday, where they anointed him Head Ranger. He now oversees a majority of the parkland and manages a team of 50 rangers, scouts and interns.

“This park isn’t what it use to be,” says Colleen Marcher, an administrator at Shenandoah. “I think [Buckles] could really turn this place around.”

Via CarelessKrow.

Hiring Cat Accountant Was ‘Bad Idea’

If he could do it all over again, Roy Garrett probably wouldn’t hire a cat to do his taxes.

“In retrospect, it was probably a bad idea,” said the Park City, UT resident, who expects to be audited later this year. “His work was really sloppy and I’m pretty sure he didn’t even file all the necessary forms.”

The cat, who opened his tax preparation business last year, has a one star rating on Angie’s List. 

“Yeah, if I’d seen that, I doubt I would have hired him,” said Garrett, “but that’s not really a good excuse. I mean, he’s a cat. What was I expecting?”

Via rjcox.