kitties

Cat Fired From IBM After Selling Secrets

According to numerous reports, a cat engineer working at IBM’s Buenos Aires, Argentina office was fired after allegedly selling secrets to a rival company.  The crooked cat is said to have sold high end mainframe designs to a company in China.

Lawyers for the cat deny any wrongdoing.  "Our client is innocent of all charges,“ said a representative of Berkowitz, Flitman and Grösch, who are representing the cat. "Yes, he sleeps on the job.  Yes, he gets fur in the keyboard.  Yes, he rarely meets a deadline.  A model employee he is not, but neither is he a law breaker.”

Via Clashloudly.

Anxious Cat Talked Down From Ledge

Authorities in Bangkok, Thailand spent three hours talking a frazzled cat down from a window ledge Wednesday morning.

“It was clear Sam wasn’t going to end it all,” says Allan Borja of the fragile feline. “He was just a little freaked out – unsure if he was going to land on his feet. We told him everything would be OK if he just came down slowly.”

Sources say Sam is now resting comfortably back home, though still a little shaken from the incident.

Via Bim Hoontrakul.

PHOTO OP: Cat Organizer

Via Malingering.

Local Cat Trains for Marathon

A local cat named Rubiks has been training extremely hard as part of a plan to run the New York City Marathon.  According to friends, her routine is pretty rigorous: two miles on the treadmill as a warm up for a 45-minute Zumba dance class, then five miles on the exercise bike before a light lunch of cantaloupe and field greens.  After lunch she does 30-minutes with the leg weights before going out for a 10-mile free run.

“It’s impressive, sure,” said Jonah Thomas, Rubiks’ training partner at the gym.  "But do I expect her to win?  No, not really.  I mean, 26 miles is an insane amount for a cat.“

Via timc1004.

Reclusive Cat Only Leaves Sensory Deprivation Tank Once Per Year

Since retiring from the stage in 2003, Nikolai the cat has grown more eccentric with each passing year.  According to a new unauthorized tell-all biography released today, Nikolai spends most of his time in a sensory deprivation chamber and only leaves once each year on the Summer Solstice.  

“He takes his meals there.  He bathes there.  He sleeps there.  The sensory deprivation tank has become his entire world,” alleges the book, entitled Meow: The Story of the Greatest Showcat the World Has Every Seen, and His Downfall.  "Nikolai only leaves the chamber once each year, on the Summer Solstice, to be rejuvenated by the sun’s healing rays during its longest transit across the sky.“

The book is already #2 on the Amazon Kindle bestseller list.

Via jadepearli.