kitties

Kitty Finds Exercise Equipment Ineffective

Sam the cat recently purchased a pricey elliptical machine.  According to friends, Sam’s New Year’s resolution every year for the past three has been to lose weight, and so far he hasn’t been successful.  But this year, said friends, Sam is getting serious.

There’s only one problem: Sam can’t figure out how to make the high tech exercise machine work.

“He was really excited when the FedEx truck pulled up yesterday with his new toy,” said roommate Jim Ferguson.  "But once he got it into the living room and hopped on, nothing seemed to happen.  He’s not burning any calories and he’s not breaking a sweat.“

Ferguson suspects Sam might be doing it wrong and has urged his roommate to read the manual.

Via lilgirlblue.

PHOTO OP: Ultimate Fluff

Via aj bufete.

Cat’s Private Boudoir Photography Leaked by TMZ

Gossip website TMZ.com has leaked private bedroom photos of one Akira the cat.  The cat, a socialite and heir to the Mr. Salmonsworth Fish Flakes fortune, is a popular target of the paparazzi.  Last year, photographers caught Akira flashing some skin outside of the Kit Kat Club in Berlin, which led to a temporary dip in fish flake stock prices.

The latest photographs, which depict Akira in various states of undress, were supposedly commissioned by the cat for then-boyfriend, Whiskers, a reality TV star.

It’s not known how TMZ got a hold of the photos, but Akira has released a statement through her lawyers vowing to take the website to court.

Via ikkraa.

Cat’s Colorful Homemade Wardrobe Piques Fashion Elite

A local cat named Sandy has gotten a few calls after donning her rainbow-colored handmade sweater/hat combo – most notably from renown fashion designer Marc Jacobs.

“He’s interested in purchasing the design for his new line of outerwear,” says Kelli Coral, spokesperson for Sandy and her homemade garments. “I think he wants to call it Catspiration, or something like that.”

Via compactmanifold.

Cat Claims Scented Candles Aren’t Hiding Smells

Friends became suspicious when scented candles started appearing up all over Rufus the cat’s apartment.

“It seemed to me he was covering up some bad odors, maybe some cooking or a mold problem,” says Fred Steinbach, a source close to the situation. “He claims he just likes Bath & Body Works. But I know something’s up.”

Via yasoka.