kitties

Cat Still Adjusting to Earlier Work Schedule

When Toby the cat agreed to switch jobs earlier this month, he was mostly thinking about the fatter paycheck, fancy new title and luxe office on the fifth floor. What he didn’t count on was how difficult it would be to get used to the new schedule.

Now a few weeks into his new gig, the kitten is still having a lot of trouble waking up so early for work.

“He’s totally out of it in the mornings,” according to roommate Clancy Williams. “He just has a hard time waking up and getting ready.”

Toby hopes he’ll get the hang of it soon, or else he may have to request a transfer back to his old department.

Via laura8450.

Kitten Mixologist Creates New Cocktail

What do you get when you mix vodka, triple sec, orange zest, and cranberry juice, shake it over ice and pour it out? If you guessed a Pink Meow, then you must have visited Claude’s, the upscale bar in New Orleans that is home to the hottest mixologist in the city: a cat named Button.

Button’s signature drink, which she invented last year when she ran out of limes for Cosmos, has been a smash hit with locals and tourists alike. A recent write up in the New York Times has caused lines to form outside the bar on weekend evenings.

Via gracieandbuttonsutton.

Area Cat Is All In

Sources on the scene indicate that after a night of gambling, Jonesy the cat has gone all in. The kitty has reportedly had an up and down night at the table, a few times being the chip leader while at other times being one hand away from losing it all.

This latest move could ruin the cat or put him in at a decisive advantage.

“To be honest, I’m not sure he even knows what game we’re playing,” said dealer Cheryl Chiang, who managed the table for two hours last night while Jonesy was playing. “I’m relatively certain he doesn’t speak Chinese.”

Via sodajune.

Local Dog Tests Positive for Cute

A local Corgi pup named Smalls has tested positive for cute. Friends suspected something was up with the puppy when he started to get extremely adorable late last week.

“We were really worried,” recounts Susan Wu. “We were sure it was something serious.”

Doctors say that while cute sounds scary, it’s nothing to fear.

“Smalls’ case of cute is most likely chronic,” said family veterinarian Dr. Angus Doubleday. “It’s distracting, but harmless. I think everyone should just enjoy it.”

Via sindy.

Kitty Strike Puts the Kibosh on Cute

Cat Local 103 has gone on strike, according to reports from Bloomberg Businessweek. The magazine is reporting that the union is demanding better working conditions and overtime pay and they are prepared to withhold cute for as long as it takes.

“These cats routinely put in 12 or 13 hour days and they’re only given 6 to 8 hours of napping time on average. That’s an untenable working condition,” cat union lawyer Terrence Ellis told Businessweek.

The cats will be meeting this evening to vote on an official list of demands.

The canine union, which last year went on strike for more frequent walks, could decide to stand with the cats, according to some reports. Those two unions working together would be unprecedented.

Via weesmalldoll.