PHOTO OP: Say What?
Via iampicklethecat.
kitties
New Leaked NSA Docs Reveal Kitten Snooping Program
New Leaked NSA Docs Reveal Kitten Snooping Program
Classified documents obtained by The Fluffington Post reveal yet another layer of the National Security Agency’s far-reaching Internet spying operation.
A crude PowerPoint presentation shows that the NSA has used independent kitten contractors to snoop on the inboxes of millions of American citizens.
“Nobody suspects a kittens,” says one source in the intelligence community, who spoke on condition of anonymity. “They sidle up next to your laptop screen looking all cute. Most people think they like the heat from the computer, but no. They’re being paid by the government to read your emails.”
A vast network of kitten spies has been operating in the U.S. since 2007, according to the classified material. It does not appear they have turned in any terrorism leads.
“Most of the reports are about bird videos on YouTube,” says the source. “Turns out kittens are easily distracted, and do not make reliable government operatives.”
Via Kat_elise.
PHOTO OP: Stoic Gaze
PHOTO OP: Stoic Gaze
Via troelsparmann.
Cat Will Not Be Getting His Security Deposit Back
Cat Will Not Be Getting His Security Deposit Back
Maxwell, a cat and student at the University of Illinois, received the bad news from his landlord this morning: he won’t be getting his security deposit back.
The kitty moved out of his apartment last week after wrapping up the semester and spent two days cleaning and fixing damage, but apparently it wasn’t enough.
“I found empty catnip bags all over the basement, there was litter ground into the bathroom tile, and the there were scratch marks all over the drapes,” said Jennifer Gillis, who owns the apartment. “The cats who lived here were clearly party animals.”
Via madd_maxwell.
‘Most Interesting Cat in the World’ Confesses to Boredom
‘Most Interesting Cat in the World’ Confesses to Boredom
Harold Marvin Lamar Overpeck, the self-described “Most Interesting Cat in the World,” shocked fans with a confession early Wednesday.
“While known for paragliding, rock climbing and cavorting with beautiful women, Mr. Overpeck gave in to a moment of boredom last Saturday,” his office wrote in a press release. “While it pains Mr. Overpeck to be boring – even for just five minutes – he feels he must be honest about it.”
As it happens, Overpeck had just arrived home from a European archaeological expedition, missed dinner plans with Ashton Kutcher by mere moments, and exhausted all of his Angry Birds levels.
“There was simply nothing left for him to do,” the release explains. “He just kinda sat there for a while, thinking about things. It was terrible.”
Submitted by Sarah Overpeck.