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Hamster Hacks FBI Database
A hamster known only by his hacker handle “SeedMonsterX” managed to breach a heavily encrypted FBI database Sunday afternoon.
While little is known about the hacker’s intentions, forensic investigators discovered a number of covert queries run against government data, including “Area 51” and “Minnie Mouse Nude.”
Via Marc Bres Gil.
Hamster Goes Wild on 21st Birthday
According to her Facebook page, Judy, a hamster who just turned 21 (in hamster years – about a year and a half on a human timescale), really let loose at her birthday party. We’re told by friends that though Judy parties hard, she does so responsibly and did not attempt to get in her wheel.
Via LuLu Witch.
Hamster’s Daring Escape Attempt Thwarted
A white hamster was seen jimmying the lock on his cage late Friday evening in what witnesses have called “an obvious attempt to escape.”
Despite the bold move, authorities quickly apprehended the hamster and returned him to his confines.
Via @Hamstagram.
Hamster Obesity Reaches Epidemic Proportions
New numbers from the Department of Health shed light on the serious issue of hamster obesity in the U.S.
Nearly 35% of all hamsters in the country are now clinically obese – up from 27% reported last spring. The DoH attributes the spike to the sudden popularity of deep fried seeds.
Many wonder why no one thought of deep fried seeds years ago. They are “f**king delicious,” according to experts.
Via Peach Phichaya.
What Happens If You Give a Hamster a Cookie?
Everyone knows what happens if you give a mouse a cookie, thanks to the classic 1985 biocultural ecologic study of the same name. But there is much less known about what happens when hamsters are fed baked goods. Researchers at the University of Luxembourg are in phase 2 of their double blind study that hopes to answer that question. They expect to finish their research within the next three months and plan to publish their findings in the scientific journal Higlights for Kids in 2013.
Via Osbournes Life.
