PHOTO OP: The Escape
Ringo, submitted by Ali Pearsall.
hamsters
Hamster Behind Bars After Gnawing Spree
Hamster Behind Bars After Gnawing Spree
Koali the hamster has been brought to justice after a living room gnawing spree left two shoes and a chair leg in critical condition Monday.
“He’s been charged with three counts of premeditated gnawing,” said U.S. District Attorney Arnold Guzik at a press conference. “Koali will be arraigned this week in Superior Court.”
Via Alastair Campbell.
Hamster Reinforcements Defeat Cat Tank
Hamster Reinforcements Defeat Cat Tank
Just a day after Waffles the cat blockaded the living room with a cardboard panzer, Hamster Special Forces (HSF) arrived to take down the cat’s armor division and restore critical supply lines from the kitchen.
“We were completely outgunned when Waffles rolled in,” says PFC Jake Rogers, who was stationed in the living room at the time. “Thank God those hamsters showed up. They really saved our asses.”
Via Viktor Simonic.
Hamster Announces Run for President
Hamster Announces Run for President
At a sparsely attended public appearance outside a mall in Overland Park, KS a political newcomer named Dizzy the Hamster threw his exercise wheel into the race for President of the United States. Dizzy is running as an independent on an anti-vacuum platform that might resonate with hamster voters but will be a tough sell to the general public.
Though Dizzy has no prior experience in politics and has never held public office, his campaign is likely to be well capitalized due to his family sawdust fortune.
Via sammybingo.
Officials: Hamster Duplex Development Is a Go
Officials: Hamster Duplex Development Is a Go
The long-contested hamster duplex project on Fig Street was approved by city officials on Wednesday morning.
“The apartment complex will bring affordable housing to hundreds of area hamsters and the construction will create an estimated 75 jobs,” city councilwoman Carrie Sinclair said at a press conference.
But detractors argue that those jobs are only temporary, and that building low-rent apartments on one of the city’s precious few open spaces could be a blight.
“Why not a hamster park, or a hamster fountain?” asks Colin Bard, who plans to protest the groundbreaking in June. “The only one who benefits from this project is the real estate developer. He’s enjoying a hefty tax break, I might add.”
Via pattawaddee w.