guinea pigs

Guinea Pig Closes In on ‘Theory of Everything’

Researcher and guinea pig, Dr. Hopwell Fuzzykins, at the University of California at Irvine, is closing in on a new theory that his colleagues think has a good chance to finally unify the four fundamental interactions of nature: gravity, the strong force, the weak force, and electromagnetism.  The elusive “theory of everything” has stumped physicists for decades.

“It has something to do with loop quantum gravity… or maybe M-theory… I’m not actually sure,” explained Martin Winchecker, associate dean of UC Irvine’s school of theoretical physics.  "I really don’t understand this stuff.  I’m more of a figure head.  I just know Dr. Fluffykins is really smart and he gets oodles of grant money.“

Via nurdamlacelik.

REPORT: Guinea Pigs Engaging In Insider Trading

By Scott Friedstein, FluffPo Correspondent

According to a report filed by the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission, guinea pigs have been knowingly participating in insider trading in a brazen attempt to make a profit. The report cited several prominent guinea pig investors who have engaged in suspicious stock activity as of late.

“There was a massive sell-off of PiggyCorp stock right before it went under,” says SEC spokesman Paul Cohen. “Guinea pigs are cute, but that can’t be a coincidence. We have every reason to believe that the PiggyCorp liquidation was an inside job. And as for the piggies who profited – well, let’s just say their days are numbered.”

Via Castaway in Scotland.

Guinea Pig Refuses to Acknowledge that Halloween Is Over

Brownie the guinea pig loves Halloween. That’s why she is refusing to let it die.  According to reports from those close to the situation, the guinea pig has barricaded herself inside a disused Jack’o’lantern and refuses to leave until everyone puts their costumes back on.

“This happens every year,” said neighbor Troy Wilkins.  "It’s a month of Brownie running around her yard like a nut putting up decorations, a day of absolute joy, then out comes the pumpkin and in she goes.“

According to Wilkins Brownie will eventually admit that Halloween is over and end her protest. 

We’ll keep you updated as this story progresses.

Via mypets_and_ilove1d.