chipmunks

Chipmunk Joins Climbing Gym

When a new gym opened up in his neighborhood, Marco the chipmunk thought it was a waste of a good retail space.

“He figured he already gets so much exercise collecting acorns and nuts that a gym wouldn’t be worth his time,” said close friend Dan Kopowski. “He’d much rather have a good Indian food place or clothing boutique instead.”

At least it wasn’t another cupcake joint.

But then a funny thing happened. A friend who had a two-for-one Groupon for the gym convinced Marco to check the place out, and that’s when the chipmunk discovered the climbing wall.

“He was hooked immediately,” said Kopowski. “It’s funny, because he climbs all day, but usually it’s work. Getting a better nut or escaping a barking dog. This was climbing for fun, and that’s totally different.”

Marco is now not only a full member of the gym, but he’s training to be a climbing instructor.

Via marziascarano.

POLL: Voters Tired of Chipmunk’s Stump Speech

According to a new poll from ABC News and The Washington Post, voters are beginning to tire of the rhetoric from chipmunk congressional candidate Tino Honeydew.  

“He’s been trotting out essentially the same speech since July,” said ABC News assistant political director Monica Loney.  "Our polling shows that voters are just tiring of hearing that same message over and over.  They want to hear something new from Honeydew.“

While polls indicate the chipmunk still has a slim lead over his opponent, he has failed so far to create any separation, leading some political analysts to predict this election will come down to the wire.

Via Giles Gonthier.

Chipmunk Blown Away by Olympic Opening Ceremonies

As soon as Carl tuned into the broadcast of the Olympic Opening Ceremonies, he was glued to his TV. The chipmunk from Trout Lake, MN was “blown away” by the artistry and narrative, according to friends.

“Carl was really floored,” says Roslyn Baltz, a source close to the situation. “I think I caught him tearing up during the Mary Poppins part.”

Via Paul Reinheimer.

Chipmunk Triathlete Accused of Doping

World-class chipmunk triathlete Cheeks Malone, has been accused by the Federation of International Rodent Athletics of using banned performance enhancing substances.  Though Malone has yet to test positive for any illegal agent, FIRA indicates that numerous first-hand reports from former teammates and trainers implicate the chipmunk in doping.

“These accusations are baseless and without warrant,” said a spokesperson for Malone.  "Cheeks has never knowingly taken any illegal performance enhancers.  He is a natural talent who trains hard and competes on his own merits.“

If found guilty by FIRA, Malone could be banned from competing at the Olympics in London later this year, where he plans to represent the United States as a distance runner and cyclist.

Via Molly Goossens.