cats

Kitten Loses Job at Nap Factory

Layoffs at the local nap factory have hit Suni the kitten hard.  After budget cuts at the plant forced a round of layoffs in early May, Suni found herself without a paying job for the first time in years.  According to friends, the kitten hasn’t taken it very well.  "Oh she’s been sending out resumes, sure,“ said Linda Conroy, a source close to the situation, "but I don’t think she’s slept in weeks.”

While most cats are living the high life, economists warn that kitties who do find themselves out of work will have an increasingly difficult time finding gainful employment because the demand for professional napping is at a 5-year low.

Via Llolker.

Area Cat Can’t Nap Without Favorite Doll

“It’s a Mulan doll, you know… from the movie?” says Amos Tolbert, local cat Fuwa’s friend and roommate.  "She just refuses to take a nap without it.  We can’t figure it out, because, to be honest, she didn’t even like the movie that much.“

Tolbert says it wouldn’t be a big deal, except that it’s interfering with his day job as a freelance writer.  "Every day it’s, ‘Oh my God, where’s Mulan?’ and I can’t get anything done,” he says.  

Via Yuaxan.fishy.Wang.

Cat Blogger Obsessed With Google Analytics

Chili, a cat who runs a popular blog about architecture in an around Cleveland, OH, is absolutely obsessed with Google Analytics reports.  According to friends, Chili checks the referrals report hourly and always keeps the real-time traffic open in Safari.

All that obsessive analytics tracking might be paying off, though: Chili’s blog is the most popular Cleveland architecture website in Ohio.

Via racksabbath.

Area Cat Sleeps With Money Bags

It’s a well known fact that cats make up the majority of the 1%, but Michigan-area kitten Arliss Reginal Butterworth takes his love of money to an extreme.  According to numerous sources, the kitten, heir to a multi-billion dollar catnip fortune and endowed with a sizable trust fund, actually sleeps with bags of money.

“He plays with it,” one outraged member of the Butterworth’s staff, who wished to remain anonymous, told The Fluffington Post.  "He actually bats the cash around like it’s nothing.  Meanwhile, he pays his us kibble.  That’s not a euphemism – he literally tried to pay us with Meow Mix last week.“

Via cseeman.