cats

According to the Pinebluff Homeowner’s Association, neighborhood cat Tinkers is in violation of about twelve subdivision rules relating to property maintenance. 

“Failure to remove leaves from yard, failure to trim hedges, failure to bring trash barrels back in from curb after collection day… the list goes on and on,” said PHA president Richard Farina. “He’s letting the work pile up – literally!” 

Farina said that if Tinkers doesn’t address the situation this week, he could face multiple fines. 

For his part, neighbors say the cat is just completely overwhelmed by the amount of work.

“He let is get out of hand, uh, paw, hand? Whatever. He’s not even sure how to proceed,” said Cynthia Lanni, who lives next door. “I keep telling him to hire this lawn care company I use, but he’s completely freaked out by the leaf blowers they use. So I’m not sure what he’ll do.”

Tinkers could not be reached for comment.

Via romulan_cat.

Via utamaruru.

A powerful feline wizard named Pancake is refusing to reverse a spell that turned all of the food in his town into tuna, according to residents.

“I had just dropped $150 at Whole Foods,” said James Watkins, who lives two houses away from Pancake. “I picked up some local organic peppers, artisanal, slow roasted salami, this really expensive cheese from France… and now it’s all just tuna. What am I going to do with $150 worth of tuna?”

Dr. Clara Barber, Senior Occult Correspondent at CNN, says there’s not much the town can do.

“Pancake is a level twelve wizard,” she told CNN host Kate Bolduan this morning. “When you have a cat that powerful, it’s almost impossible to reverse a spell. Unless maybe they can find a fourth degree iguana neuromancer. But I mean, good luck with that.”

Via nugget_pancake.

Via matsumotoooooo.

Abigail is the reigning queen of Halloween among her friends and co-workers. At least, she was.

“You can always count on Abigail to win the company costume contest,” says colleague Ron Simmons. “Last year she was Left Shark. The year before that, she was a chimichanga with actual, edible queso in her costume.”

But this year’s get-up has many friends baffled.

“It’s just a plastic bag. Is she supposed to be trash?” posits Tiffany Unger, Abigail’s roommate.

“Maybe she’s groceries,” says Ryan O’Toole, a longtime friend. “I don’t know.”

Abigail won’t reveal the theme of her costume, hoping instead that people will just “get it,” according to sources familiar with the situation.

“I guess it has some sort of political or environmental message,” O’Toole speculates. “I think she’s lost her edge.”

via @choyoungmi62