cats

Kitten Gets High Marks on School Report Card

Mallory the kitten made her parents proud this week when she brought home a glowing mid-term report card from school. She had high marks in every subject – Scratching Post Destruction 205, Napping 301, Introduction to Aloofness, Finding the Best Sun Spots (independent study), and Topics in Sitting in Boxes and Bags.  Her teachers gushed about her.

“Mallory is a pleasure to have in class,” said her napping professor, Mrs. Banks. “She’s courteous, she always comes to class on time, and she’s usually the first student to conk out.”

Via birdvoyeur.

PHOTO OP: Cat or Meerkat?

Via nugget_pancake.

PHOTO OP: Creeper

Via szetooweiwen.

Cat Takes Amazing Balancing Act on the Road

It’s not clear how Tanner, a Norwegian forest cat based in Colorado, developed his keen sense of balance.

“We were playing Truth or Dare one time, and my friend just dared him to climb up on the back of a chair,” says Jim Doubleday. “He just perched himself there for like 20 minutes. It was amazing!”

Since then, Tanner has honed his abilities and produced a 3-hour variety show where he balances on everything from a stack of plates to a pool cue.

“We’re about to head out on a 14-city tour,” Tanner’s manager, Dustin Rodriguez, tells The Fluffington Post. “He’s got sponsorship and everything.”

Via HSimpson818.

Cat Stiffs Pizza Delivery Guy

Chuck Fogarty claims a local cat refuses to tip for pizza delivery. The driver, who works at Vinny’s Pizza & Pasta on Harrison Avenue, delivered a pepperoni pie Tuesday night.

“This cat answered the door, I don’t know his name,” Fogarty tells The Fluffington Post. “He had pre-paid on a credit card but didn’t leave a tip or hand me any cash. Nothing. He just scowled at me as he closed the door.”

Upon hearing of the neighborhood cheapskate, The Pizza Deliverers’ Alliance spoke out.

“Doesn’t he understand that we make our living from tips?” says Joseph Camden, secretary for the Alliance. “It’s an affront. We’ve added his house to our new ‘No-Delivery Zone.’ He won’t be getting pizza anytime soon.”

Via Sydviciouz.