cats

PHOTO OP: Afternoon Nap

Via solomangrundle.

Radioactive Cat Acquires Lame Super Power

A cat named Bailey was excited to learn he had been exposed to radioactive sewage on a recent vacation in Japan.

“Most cats would be a little freaked out to know they were radioactive,” says John Herling, a friend of the feline. “Not Bailey. He started making plans for the superhero lifestyle – a cool name, spandex costume, crime fighting gadgets – the works.”

Though his doctors stressed the seriousness of his condition, and that acquiring paranormal abilities is not the norm, Bailey was unfazed. It turns out his health is fine, and he did gain a super power. But not one from his wish list.

“He can become rainbow colored,” says Herling. “He can turn it off and on at will. It’s great for parties, but it doesn’t really help with crime fighting. He’s really bummed about it. He’s been moping around since last Tuesday when he found out. If you see a sad, furry rainbow in the corner, that’s probably him, sulking.”

Via actualmarc, originally published on HelloGiggles.

Cat Puts Left Paw In, Refuses to Shake It All About

In what’s already being called “PokeyGate” by the local press, a cat named Smithers stunned onlookers yesterday when he refused to follow instructions during a heated round of hokey pokey.

According to several reports, Smithers put his left paw in when instructed, but then flouted repeated requests to “shake it all about.”

“The rules exist for a reason,” said hokey pokey expert Steve Randolph. “He made a mockery of game. There should be swift and severe penalties from the IHPB.”

The IHPB – or International Hokey Pokey Board – which governs professional play worldwide, has not yet reached a decision about any punishment for Smithers.

Via stokesy67.

PHOTO OP: In Hiding

Via peppegio89.

Kitty Regrets Spending Life Savings on Promoted Tweets

Though they are definitely part of the 1%, cats have never been known as great money managers.  They tend to come from old money, and they’re terrible at spending it wisely.

With the advent of the Internet, there are more ways than ever for cats to blow their fortunes.

It should be no surprise, then, that a cat named Aisha spent her entire life savings on promoted tweets. 

“What really boggles my mind,” said Joe Ramirez, a financial manager who attempted to dissuade the kitty from spending her money on the tweets, “is that she wasn’t even promoting anything that would make her more money. It was just jokes and memes.”

Aisha has moved back in with her mom. She did not wish to comment for this piece, except to convey that she regrets spending so much money on Twitter marketing.

Via carolsales__.