cats

Cat Resigns from Traveling Shadow Puppet Show

Elvis, star of a noted Las Vegas feline shadow puppet show, resigned yesterday amid allegations that the cat was not creating his own shadows. The picture above, first published by gossip site TMZ.com last week, set off a whirlwind of controversy, with anonymous insiders alleging that Elvis had human assistance for some of the more complex shadows in the show.

The cat staunchly denied the accusations and insisted through a spokesperson that the photo was taken in the greenroom when he and some friends were just “horsing around.”

It seemed as if the story would die as quickly as it appeared, but then today, The Sands Resort and Casino, which hosts the show, announced Elvis’ resignation. While the kitty has still not admitted to any wrongdoing, the casino has already tried to distance itself from its former star and move on with the rest of its feline cast.  

Via elviscute.

PHOTO OP: Just Resting My Eyes

Via frankthecat.

Cat Locates Source of Garden Problem

Local cat and handyman Earnest was called upon early this morning to locate the source of a problem in the garden. It took Earnest only a few minutes to figure out what was wrong.

“What happened was all of a sudden the water pressure just dropped and I wasn’t getting anything out the front of the hose,” said Kyle Colby, who hired Earnest. “It’s been really hot out and the plants need that water. I didn’t know what to do.”

Earnest was able to quickly diagnose the problem as a kink in the garden hose.

“It turned out to be a simple fix,” said Colby, “but in an emergency, you don’t fool around. I’m glad I called in an expert.”

Via seethroughme.

Cat Discovers Portal to Another Dimension

Theoretical physicists have long suspected that the universe we inhabit is merely one instance on an infinite spectrum of alternate realities, but science has yet to yield compelling evidence.

That changed Friday when a cat named Jules inadvertently stumbled on a portal to what researchers at MIT are calling “a time-space phase anomaly.”

“The dark matter readings we’re getting from the portal are like nothing we’ve ever seen,” says Dr. Richard Mundeck, an MIT physicist who has published multiple papers on the subject. “The traditional laws of physics break down behind the door – in some ways we predicted, and others we didn’t. We’re corresponding with our colleagues at CERN [in Switzerland] to see if they have any relevant data. But the more we study it, the more it looks like we’ve hit on a parallel dimension.”

As for Jules, he’s rather modest about his discovery.

“Pretty soon after he found the door, he had a snack, licked himself, and took a nap,” says Ellie Forrester, a friend of the cat. “He’s not nearly as excited as those science guys.”

Via Carrie.