cat

Kitten Implicated In Financial Malfeasance

Julliet, the kitten CEO of hedge fund Cuddle Capital, LP, has been accused by the SEC of short-selling toxic assets based on insider information.

“We’re not at liberty to disclose all the details of this investigation, and no arrests have been made,” Connor Black, an SEC spokesperson, said at a press conference on Sunday. “But this is a very serious matter, and we will be taking every step to ensure that kittens who engage in financial collusion pay the appropriate penalty.”

Via Pacificat Ragdolls.

East Village Cat Just Wants to Take Some Time Off

A cat living la vie bohème on New York’s Lower East Side just wants to take some time to concentrate on her art, according to friends.  Maybe do some acting, maybe make a film, maybe write some poetry.  She’s also considering a move to the Williamsburg neighborhood of Brooklyn to work in a coffee shop for a little while.  

Via swanky.

Kitten Causes a Scene at Local Department Store

Raffiki, a kitten from Manchester, United Kingdom, caused a scene at a local store after being told that there were no returns on the shoe she had just purchased.  Reportedly, the angry kitten had purchased a shoe earlier in the day from the sale section of the store, only to suffer from a bit of buyer’s remorse when she later realized that the footwear was comically too large for her petite paw.

“She should have tried the shoe on before leaving the premises,” said a store manager. “All sales of discount items are final.  No returns.”

Via jackhynes.