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Kitten Downs Entire Pint of Ben & Jerry’s After Breakup

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Kitten Downs Entire Pint of Ben & Jerry’s After Breakup

It may be a cliche, but Winnie the kitten finds comfort in the bottom of a tub of ice cream.  After a recent break up with her boyfriend – an American Shorthair named Merv – Winnie drowned her sorrows in a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Half Baked.

“She was really broken up about it,” said roommate Jenny Hertzwiler. “Phase one is ice cream, phase two is breaking all his CDs and then she’ll be able to get a little perspective.  She’ll get through this.”

According to Hertzwiler, Winnie had a bit of a tummy ache after the ice cream binge, but it was “preferable to heartache.”

Via cassidy3.

Local Dog Always Stops to Smell the Roses

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Local Dog Always Stops to Smell the Roses

7-year-old Shiba Inu Fuji knows how to live life to the fullest. Her mantra? Always be sure to stop and smell the roses – or whatever flowers you happen to come across.

“Last year she was running a doggie marathon,” says Harold Stengler, a source familiar with the situation. “She had a shot at winning, but there was this park along the route. She stopped for like 20 minutes to smell all the blooms. That’s just how she is.”

Submitted by Jack Murphy.

Cat’s Dandruff Problem Reaches Code Blue Critical

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Cat’s Dandruff Problem Reaches Code Blue Critical

Winton the cat has long suffered from a flaky skalp, but according to recent reports, his dandruff problem has now reached epically more dire levels.

“We’re doing everything we can to keep his skin moisturized and free of oil after baths,” said Dr. Bruce Tannenbaum at the Selsun Blue Institute for Hair Care Studies. ”Unfortunately, we’re dealing with a relatively serious and rapidly progressing case here.”

According to Dr. Tannenbaum, if currently available treatments don’t work, plan B is to get Winton a hat.

Via virtualwayfarer.

Cat Nutella Thief Still At Large

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Cat Nutella Thief Still At Large

By Scott Friedstein, FluffPo Correspondent

According to authorities, Freckles the cat is still on the loose after a rash of Nutella-related thefts in the D.C. Metro area. Described as orange and white with an insatiable love of hazelnuts, Freckles has evaded capture for the the better part of a month. As residents tell The Fluffington Post, the cat strikes randomly, never hitting the same house twice.

“He was here just the other day,” says Gladys Goodwin. “I came into the kitchen, and there he was. I told him, ‘You get away from my Nutella!’ But he’d already eaten most of it by then.”

Despite being largely at a loss, police are trying to stay one step ahead of the cat.

“He’s already taken most of the Nutella,” says Chief of Police Barry Swanson. “But if my instincts are right, he’s eventually going to need one other thing: Toast. We’re telling people to make as much of it as possible. If all goes according to plan, we’ll have Freckles by next week. Or just a lot of toast. Only time will tell.”

Via shestoopstoconquer.