PHOTO OP: Winter Sweater
Via @kei515yu.
REPORT: Guinea Pigs Engaging In Insider Trading
REPORT: Guinea Pigs Engaging In Insider Trading
By Scott Friedstein, FluffPo Correspondent
According to a report filed by the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission, guinea pigs have been knowingly participating in insider trading in a brazen attempt to make a profit. The report cited several prominent guinea pig investors who have engaged in suspicious stock activity as of late.
“There was a massive sell-off of PiggyCorp stock right before it went under,” says SEC spokesman Paul Cohen. “Guinea pigs are cute, but that can’t be a coincidence. We have every reason to believe that the PiggyCorp liquidation was an inside job. And as for the piggies who profited – well, let’s just say their days are numbered.”
Via Castaway in Scotland.
Chimp Remains Unworried by Fiscal Cliff
Chimp Remains Unworried by Fiscal Cliff
A San Diego chimpanzee named Horace is calm in spite of the looming financial disaster facing the United States. According to sources, Horace is certain that Speaker Boehner and President Obama will work out a deal before the December 31 deadline for the so-called “fiscal cliff.”
“I don’t think either party really wants to go over the cliff and risk a recession,” said friend Silas Wells. "Horace feels that a deal will be reached soon, and that even if we do end up going over the edge, a deal would be worked out quickly thereafter, before any lasting damage can take place.“
Others don’t see Horace’s quiescence as reassuring. "Horace could very well be right,” said economist Robert Tompkins. "But one thing about him gives me pause. He’s a chimp. And chimps have been wrong about the economy before.“
Via Tambako the Jaguar.
PHOTO OP: Christmas Ham
PHOTO OP: Christmas Ham
Via Lulu Witch.
Minneapolis Dog Paranoid About Yellow Snow
Minneapolis Dog Paranoid About Yellow Snow
The old adage “don’t eat the yellow snow” could not be more poignant for Louis, a Minneapolis shih poo who ventured out into the first wintry weather of the season.
“Snow is one of his favorite snacks,” says Amelia Schroeder, a source close to the situation. “But ever since the ‘incident’ two years ago, he’s really paranoid about the yellow stuff. Now he inspects every clump thoroughly before chowing down. It used to take him about 20 minutes to eat all the snow off the deck. Now it’s more like an hour.”
Submitted by Sarah Bly.