PHOTO OP: To Infinity! And Beyond!
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Hedgehog Completes Alpaca Immersion Training
by Scott Friedstein, FluffPo Correspondent
Hungry for self-discovery, Beanie the hedgehog knew he needed a change of scenery. The lush Andes mountains seemed like just the ticket.
“It was the alpacas that drew him,” says Craig Mills, a friend and collaborator on Beanie’s upcoming memoir, Five Months in Alpaca. “They seemed like such a gentle species. He wished to know them better.”
That meant living amongst the quiet creatures – absorbing their culture, their habits, their language – basically becoming an alpaca.
“They accepted him as one of their own,” says Mills. “They didn’t see a hedgehog – they saw another alpaca. A slightly smaller one – but an alpaca still.”
Invigorated by his experience, Beanie returned to his hutch and quickly began planning his next adventure.
“He’s going to live with dolphins next.” says Mills. “It’ll be challenging from a practical standpoint, but that’s never stopped him before. He’s just a different kind of hedgehog.”
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Hedgehog’s New Shoes Are Super Fly
This has been a good week for Bertie the hedgehog. First, his high school passed out yearbooks on Monday and he was voted “Best Smile.” Then, when he got home on Tuesday, he found a present waiting from his mom and dad as a reward for good grades: a pair of stylish new Chuck Taylor All Stars.
“He looks good in those kicks,” said friend Alissa Decker. “If he’d had those earlier in the year, I bet he’d have cleaned up on all the yearbook superlatives.”
Bertie is set to graduate in a two weeks and will start at Penn State in the fall.
Hedgehog’s Doctor Advises Healthier Diet
Though his doctor has advised against it, Turbo the hedgehog begins each day with a breakfast of coffee and donuts. The hedgie, who works as an energy trader in Houston, TX, claims that he needs the boost of caffeine and sugar to get going so early.
But his doctor is worried.
“All that sugar and fat isn’t good for him,” said Dr. Lucy Elms. “I could even get on board with the morning coffee and donut, but have you seen what he eats for lunch and dinner? Fast food, pizza, beer. It’s no good.”
According to Elms, Turbo is going to eat himself into an early grave if he doesn’t watch it.
“The bad food, the poor sleeping habits, the high stress job – it’s a recipe for disaster,” she said.
Via Turbo the Hedgehog.