Owl Refuses to Reveal Tootsie Roll Pop Secrets

It is one of the most closely guarded secrets in the candy industry: how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop?

Though the company’s official stance is that the number varies and “the world may never know,” the secret of the actual number of licks was entrusted to a great horned owl in 1970. Now just a few days away from retirement, many in the candy world hope that he might finally reveal the number.

“Nope, I’m sure that information is going with him to the grave,” said Tootsie Roll historian, Reginald Fairchild. “Even in retirement, I wouldn’t place bets that he’ll ever reveal that secret.”

Still, candy industry watchers think there is a good chance that the owl will decide to write a memoir, which could at least hint at the actual number of licks it takes to reach the chocolatey Tootsie Roll center.

Via Greg Lilly Photos.

Baby Owl Announced as Alternate Host for Presidential Debate

When the third and final presidential debate of the 2012 election cycle convenes in Boca Raton, FL on October 22, CBS News correspondent Bob Schieffer is scheduled to be the host.  However, should Schieffer be unable to perform his duties for any reason, the Commission on Presidential Debates has announced that a baby owl is the alternate moderator.

The owl, who is a rising media star, currently serves as a foreign affairs correspondent for CBS Radio-owned WBBM in Chicago. 

“He’s really good at asking ‘who’ questions,” said the owl’s current boss, producer Lori McCall.  ”Admittedly, he’s less adept at the what, where, why and when queries…”

The focus of the debate will be foreign policy.

Via kermit666.

PHOTO OP: Mr. Owl Is Deep in Thought

Via pomona paul.

Owl Sick of Tootsie Roll Pop Queries

“Bernard would like to make it very clear that he has no idea how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop,” said press agent Adam Danovic on a media call this morning.  ”He would thank all children and woodland creatures to stop asking him.”

According to Danovic, Bernard, a local owl, has been bothered by the “Tootsie Roll” questions for years.  ”Ever since that damnable commercial came out in the 1980s, my client has been asked that question by every kid and turtle in the tri-state area,” said Danovic by email.

When asked how many licks does it take to get to the center, Danovic responded tersely: “The world may never know.”

Via zbdh12.

PHOTO OP: Regal Owl

Via Tambako the Jaguar.

PHOTO OP: Wink

Via Dazzie D.

Owls Form Neighborhood Watch

A pair of well-intentioned spotted owls in the small town of Lake Albany, GA — population 211 — have formed the nucleus of a new neighborhood watch group.  ”They already stay up all night watching the streets with those beady little eyes,” said town council member Roy Powell.  ”So, I mean, it makes sense, right?”

According to police records, there hasn’t been a crime in Lake Albany since 1987, so the effectiveness of the new watch group is hard to gauge.

Via USFWS Headquarters.