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Cat Falls in Love With Christmas Ornament, Angers Social Conservatives

Piglet, age five (pictured above) is in a committed, long-term relationship with a C-3PO Christmas ornament, according to her owner, Heather Paulo of Walnut Creek, CA. “They snuggle and chat,” says Paulo of the lovebirds.

However, the relationship has drawn the ire of local conservative groups, who maintain that romance should be between one man and one woman – not cats and plastic Star Wars merchandise. Mr. 3PO could not be reached for comment.

STUDY: Cats Shown to Reduce Dryer Static

A new study from the domestic think tank Americans For Laundry Efficiency (AFLE) indicates that tumbling a cat in the dryer with a load of clothes significantly reduces static cling, as compared to tumbling without a cat or without other static reducing products.

While these results are promising, the issue of increased lint deposits from tumbled cats remains an obstacle for researchers.

Submitted by Nel Gaensler.

PHOTO OP: Oliver Leonardo Boni

A.k.a “Ollie,” “Little Guy,” or “Chunk.”

Submitted by Karen Krenis.

Singing Cat Flubs ‘X Factor’ Audition

Ambrose (pictured above) intended to show Simon Cowell a thing or two with her stirring rendition of Mariah Carey’s “Hero” during preliminary auditions for the hit FOX talent show The X Factor.

Regrettably, upon reaching the second verse, Ambrose sang the wrong lyrics. Instead of, “It’s a long road / When you face the world alone,” the aspiring pop cat sang, “Mrrrrow, mmmmrow / Meow, meowy mrow.”

“Awful. Just awful,” lamented Mr. Cowell before dismissing her from the room. Fans of the show have speculated that Ambrose flubbed the lyric because she’s a cat, and cannot comprehend human speech.

Submitted by Rachel Quin.