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Grumpy Cat Auditions to Replace David Letterman

With the announcement long-time Late Night host David Letterman’s retirement, many comedians and TV personalities have thrown their hat into the ring for a chance at the coveted gig. But perhaps none stand so bold a chance as Internet darling Grumpy Cat.

The Fluffington Post has obtained footage of what appears to be Grumpy’s audition tape, sent to producers of Late Night and later leaked to press by an unnamed source.

Do you think Grumpy has a future in late night TV?

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STUDY: Dogs Are Confused by Magic

A new study from the Finnish Maaginen University found that dogs do not have a good handle on simple magic tricks.

"These are not even complex illusions," said professor Jaakko Järvenpää. "Simple sleight of hand, but pups were completely flummoxed."

The study was accompanied by the release of two videos taken during the tests (part 1 is above, part 2 can be seen here) which show a dogs from a variety of breeds acting baffled by beginner-level magic tricks. According to Järvenpää, the results are clear: dogs just lack the brain capacity to comprehend abstract concepts like illusion.

Canine defenders disagree.

"This study is bogus," said Antoine Gilbert of the Puppy Alliance, and organization that fights for canine rights. "Just look at who funded it and you’ll see why we should approach it with skepticism."

Following Gilbert’s tip, The Fluffington Post has uncovered documents that indicate that the bulk of the funding for the Maaginen study came from “Scratching Post, LLC.” Scratching Post is a shell company acting on behalf of a group of wealthy cats from New York City.

Representatives from the group could not be reached for comment.

H/T: The Daily Dot.

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Cat Excels at Knocking Stuff Over

Give Burrito the cat something — anything, a water bottle, a roll of tape, a clementine, and he’ll knock it to the ground with expert proficiency.

"It’s a skill he’s been working on for the past year," said Caleb Durrey, Burrito’s strength and agility coach. "He’s nearly perfected his form."

According to Durrey, the cat is an extremely hard worker. He spends hours in the gym each day and reviewing tape to work on his craft. 

Thus far, Burrito has been unable to find anyone to employ him as a stuff knocker overer, but he remains hopeful.

Via burrito_thecat.

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Watch This Paralyzed Puppy Get a New Lease on Life

This is the story of Ricky Bobby, a 10-year-old dachshund who is partially paralyzed and doesn’t have use of his hind legs. When Humane Society rescuers found the pup, he had been dragging his non-working legs around on a cement floor, which had left him covered in open sores, callouses and suffering from muscle atrophy on his underside.

He, and other rescued animals, were sent to CareFirst Animal Hospital in North Carolina to be treated for health issues caused by neglect. That’s where he met Megan, a vet tech who helped treat the dog, patch him up and built him a wheelchair using PVC pipe and a baby stroller. Fast forward eight months and Ricky Bobby is now as active as a puppy, chasing his adoptive mom around on his new set of wheels.

Watch the video above to learn more about Ricky Bobby’s inspiring story, and then consider donating to the Humane Society of the United States to help animal rescue efforts all over America.

Submitted by HSUS.

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Cat Annihilates Paper Army in Explosive Showdown

Tensions between local paper dolls and a ginger cat have escalated to a “military conflict,” according to officials at the State Department.

"Diplomatic talks in the living room have disintegrated," said Leonard Anderson of the Office of Press Relations in a briefing. "It’s unclear at this stage which party provoked the attack, but early reports show clear evidence the cat has decimated the paper army."

A citizen journalist uploaded this footage to YouTube, but be warned: It can be graphic at times.

The State Department has made it clear the U.S. does not plan to intervene in the conflict without further investigation by UN inspectors on the ground. We will update this story we receive more information.

Submitted by Adam Cox.