PHOTO OP: Golden Yawn
PHOTO OP: Golden Yawn
Puppy Prom Goes Off Without a Hitch
The pageantry and romance of prom isn’t lost on the canine set. Senior pups at Twin Oaks High School had theirs last Thursday, and it was a picture-perfect gala, according to sources.
“Butt sniffing on the dance floor was kept to a minimum, thanks to our great chaperones,” says school superintendent Nancy Holbrook. “Riley and Alice were voted prom king and queen, not surprisingly. They make a great couple,”
Submitted by Deb Bennetts, Best Friends Pet Care.
PHOTO OP: Afternoon Nap
Radioactive Cat Acquires Lame Super Power
A cat named Bailey was excited to learn he had been exposed to radioactive sewage on a recent vacation in Japan.
“Most cats would be a little freaked out to know they were radioactive,” says John Herling, a friend of the feline. “Not Bailey. He started making plans for the superhero lifestyle — a cool name, spandex costume, crime fighting gadgets — the works.”
Though his doctors stressed the seriousness of his condition, and that acquiring paranormal abilities is not the norm, Bailey was unfazed. It turns out his health is fine, and he did gain a super power. But not one from his wish list.
“He can become rainbow colored,” says Herling. “He can turn it off and on at will. It’s great for parties, but it doesn’t really help with crime fighting. He’s really bummed about it. He’s been moping around since last Tuesday when he found out. If you see a sad, furry rainbow in the corner, that’s probably him, sulking.”
PHOTO OP: Dat Face
Cat Puts Left Paw In, Refuses to Shake It All About
In what’s already being called “PokeyGate” by the local press, a cat named Smithers stunned onlookers yesterday when he refused to follow instructions during a heated round of hokey pokey.
According to several reports, Smithers put his left paw in when instructed, but then flouted repeated requests to “shake it all about.”
“The rules exist for a reason,” said hokey pokey expert Steve Randolph. “He made a mockery of game. There should be swift and severe penalties from the IHPB.”
The IHPB — or International Hokey Pokey Board — which governs professional play worldwide, has not yet reached a decision about any punishment for Smithers.
PHOTO OP: Too Cute. Can’t Stand It.
Fashion Bunny Draws Ire Over Tube Hat
In a bold style move, a Wyoming bunny named Blue attended a gala event wearing one of his own designs — a cardboard tube hat that cinched his ears together. No sooner did he enter the room then the attendees whipped out their camera phones and started snapping.
“People were, quite frankly, agog,” says Laney Chipwater, who writes a fashion column for the Wyoming Tribune Eagle. “This was a formal event — black tie and gowns. To walk in with a toilet paper tube on your ears is in poor taste.”
But supporters of the fashion-forward bunny, who is noted for his avant-garde style and envelope-pushing designs, say he was within his right to express himself.
“I think it’s a commentary on the elitist fashion world in which we live,” says Walter Cain, who also attended the event. “It’s an artistic statement. I think we need more bunny designers like Blue to push back on our comfort zones.”
Submitted by Krystal Brown.
BREAKING: Local Dog Is Sad for Some Reason
According to multiple reports, a local dog is bummed for some reason.
At this time it is unclear why the dog is so sad — perhaps no one will take him for a walk, or maybe he spilled his water dish — but we’ll continue to update this story as it develops…