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REPORT: Bruno Mars Is Actually a Dog
by Scott Friedstein, FluffPo Correspondent
According to a recent investigative report by the Chicago Sun Times, the singer Bruno Mars is actually a Siberian Husky named Miles. The pup has apparently been masquerading as the “human” recording artist since 2008.
"I was shocked," says Keith McDowell, the report’s author. McDowell alleges that the dog has used advanced auto-tune technology to transform his barks and yelps into Mars’ smooth tenor vocals.
"I bought the CDs and went to the concerts. Had I known he was just yet another puppy using auto-tune, I might not have," says McDowell. "He got to play the Super Bowl. Let that sink in for a second. I’m glad I blew the lid off this thing once and for all."
At press time, Miles was not taking any questions, this according to his “newly-hired” attorney Clint Barksman.
Via iheartmiles.

REPORT: Bruno Mars Is Actually a Dog

by Scott Friedstein, FluffPo Correspondent

According to a recent investigative report by the Chicago Sun Times, the singer Bruno Mars is actually a Siberian Husky named Miles. The pup has apparently been masquerading as the “human” recording artist since 2008.

"I was shocked," says Keith McDowell, the report’s author. McDowell alleges that the dog has used advanced auto-tune technology to transform his barks and yelps into Mars’ smooth tenor vocals.

"I bought the CDs and went to the concerts. Had I known he was just yet another puppy using auto-tune, I might not have," says McDowell. "He got to play the Super Bowl. Let that sink in for a second. I’m glad I blew the lid off this thing once and for all."

At press time, Miles was not taking any questions, this according to his “newly-hired” attorney Clint Barksman.

Via iheartmiles.

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Kitty Regrets Catnip Bender
Some life lessons you have to learn the hard way. A Milwaukee-area cat named Welfleet learned a valuable lesson this weekend about over indulgence after an all-night catnip bender.
"He’s pretty hung over," said roommate Jack Minian. "He’s just been sitting on the couch and staring off into space for a few hours, cringing whenever I make any noise."
According to Minian, the cat went out with coworkers on Friday evening and hit a bunch of feline hot spots. 
"They went bar hopping and he clearly had too much ‘nip," said Minian. "His friends brought him home at 2am, and Welfleet woke me up meowing on the front step. Apparently he couldn’t figure out how to work his key."
The good news for the cat is that the hangover is temporary. The bad news, Minian says they just ran out of Tylenol.
Via rosemaryliu_queen.

Kitty Regrets Catnip Bender

Some life lessons you have to learn the hard way. A Milwaukee-area cat named Welfleet learned a valuable lesson this weekend about over indulgence after an all-night catnip bender.

"He’s pretty hung over," said roommate Jack Minian. "He’s just been sitting on the couch and staring off into space for a few hours, cringing whenever I make any noise."

According to Minian, the cat went out with coworkers on Friday evening and hit a bunch of feline hot spots. 

"They went bar hopping and he clearly had too much ‘nip," said Minian. "His friends brought him home at 2am, and Welfleet woke me up meowing on the front step. Apparently he couldn’t figure out how to work his key."

The good news for the cat is that the hangover is temporary. The bad news, Minian says they just ran out of Tylenol.

Via rosemaryliu_queen.

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Bakery Employs Puppy Taste Tester
by Scott Friedstein, FluffPo Correspondent
When it comes to new items, New York’s Dominique Ansel Bakery doesn’t take any chances. The famed patisserie recently hired a Golden Retriever puppy named Paisley to test its sweet treats before they hit the shelves. The results, as they say, speak for themselves.  
"So far, she’s liked everything," says head pastry chef Michael Cortis. "The DKA and Salted Pistachio Religieuse both tested exceptionally well. If it’s good enough for Paisley, it’s usually good enough for customers."
The discerning pup has first dibs on nearly everything the bakery sells - except the world-famous Cronut.
"Oh, we don’t let her test those," says Cortis. "She has to wait in line like everybody else."
Via jasminejane.

Bakery Employs Puppy Taste Tester

by Scott Friedstein, FluffPo Correspondent

When it comes to new items, New York’s Dominique Ansel Bakery doesn’t take any chances. The famed patisserie recently hired a Golden Retriever puppy named Paisley to test its sweet treats before they hit the shelves. The results, as they say, speak for themselves.  

"So far, she’s liked everything," says head pastry chef Michael Cortis. "The DKA and Salted Pistachio Religieuse both tested exceptionally well. If it’s good enough for Paisley, it’s usually good enough for customers."

The discerning pup has first dibs on nearly everything the bakery sells - except the world-famous Cronut.

"Oh, we don’t let her test those," says Cortis. "She has to wait in line like everybody else."

Via jasminejane.

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Confused Bunny Thinks He’s a Cat
by Anna Washenko, FluffPo Correspondent
Carrot has spent so much time looking at cat videos online that he has started adopting several feline activities. Close friend Ryan Mars took him to the local clinic after frequently finding him curled up in bowls, vases, and boxes.
"It was really weird," Mars said. "Carrot would get himself into cat-like places and then be stuck. He’s a bunny after all, they’re not really known for being agile and flexible. So it seemed like he needed help, for his own safety.”
Behavioral psychologist Naima Patel said this scenario was an increasingly common experience among those who spent more than five hours a day looking at cat-related content.
"This is not an isolated case," she said. "I once had a goat in here trying to purr. That was a weird day."
Via James Pockele.

Confused Bunny Thinks He’s a Cat

by Anna Washenko, FluffPo Correspondent

Carrot has spent so much time looking at cat videos online that he has started adopting several feline activities. Close friend Ryan Mars took him to the local clinic after frequently finding him curled up in bowls, vases, and boxes.

"It was really weird," Mars said. "Carrot would get himself into cat-like places and then be stuck. He’s a bunny after all, they’re not really known for being agile and flexible. So it seemed like he needed help, for his own safety.”

Behavioral psychologist Naima Patel said this scenario was an increasingly common experience among those who spent more than five hours a day looking at cat-related content.

"This is not an isolated case," she said. "I once had a goat in here trying to purr. That was a weird day."

Via James Pockele.