Dog and Cat Involved In Hours-Long Standoff

It started out with a simple game of Hide and Seek, but it ended with a tense, three-hour staring contest in the backyard.

When Sam the dog and Pouncy the cat decided to play Hide and Seek, Sam assumed they’d be playing by Oxford rules. Pouncy, though, has always preferred the Bishop of Queensbury version of the game.

Hours later, when Sam finally found the well-hidden kitty, the two got into an extremely heated argument over who actually won the match.

“It was intense,” said Nora Ziedonis, who witness the entire standoff. “They argued for a bit, but then they just stood in the snow and stared at each other for hours. Neither would blink.”

Eventually, a negotiator was able to call a tie and both players went home unhappy, but ultimately unharmed.  No word on if and when a rematch will be scheduled.

Via viperkeeper.

PHOTO OP: Foxy

Via dherman1145.

Used Guitar Mostly Just Barks

Lesson learned: when you buy a guitar on Craigslist, always open the case before handing over your cash. Tony Kozol didn’t, and he ended up with more than he bargained for.

Kozol explains: “I thought, ‘$50 for a mint 1957 Stratocaster is the deal of a lifetime.’ But when I got home, I found that inside the case was a dog, not a guitar.”

Kozol plans to keep the dog, whom he describes as having a slightly “barky” sound. 

“Turns out she’s actually killer on the drums,” he said. “So she’ll fit in nicely.”

VIa deancothill.

PHOTO OP: But I Want It Now!

Via officialminglee.

Dog Loses Invitation to Own Birthday Party

A pup named Whiskey stayed home on his own birthday after misplacing the hand-written invitation his friends sent to him last week.

“He was chewing on a bunch of papers the other day,” says Mick Horner, Whiskey’s roommate. “I have a feeling it got mashed up in there.”

Without the address of the party, Whiskey had no idea where to show up. “He also just lost his phone, so he couldn’t even text his friends to find out what was up. He mostly just sulked the whole night.”

Via Inspire Kelly.

Kitten Apologizes for Obscene Outburst

A kitten named Mitzy issued a public apology on Wednesday after a video of her expletive-laden outburst went viral on YouTube.

“Mitzy deeply regrets her public meltdown, and offers a sincere apology to the families — especially the children — whom she offended,” says Conrad Stilhoffer, the kitten’s publicist. “She wants you to know that she was just having a bad day. And while that does not excuse the behavior, she hopes you’ll understand.”

At the time of writing, the video has been viewed 14 million times, and will likely be a black mark on Mitzy’s reputation for some time.

“We hope that when you think of Mitzy, you don’t think of this unruly behavior, but of her other accomplishments, like bringing you that dead field mouse or not puking in your shoes,” said Stilhoffer. It’s unclear what — if any — ramifications this might have on her future professional prospects.

Via drowninginair.

PHOTO OP: Nya!

Via Elaine’s Pet Resorts.

Kitten Cries Foul in Xbox Gaming Tournament

A kitten named Suzie has filed a formal complaint with officials at the Halo 4 World Championship Tournament after a scuffle with another player.

“She claims a competitor pulled the controller from her paws while she was playing,” says Robert Seneca, who has taken up the inquiry. “It was right as she was about to make an epic kill, too. We’re looking into it.”

The World Championship brings together the top ranked Halo players for an all-out death match ladder tournament. Reports indicate that Suzie was a favorite to win the top bracket, an honor that comes with $20,000 in prize money and the potential for lucrative endorsement deals.

“You can understand why she’d be so upset over sabotage like this,” says Seneca.

Via Meeko94.

PHOTO OP: Derp Face

Via vivianlau721.