Expert: The Kitten Uprising Will Happen Soon
According to feline sociologist Alistair Waters at the University of Waterloo in Ontario Canada, a kitten uprising is imminent.
Waters has been assembling a meta-study consisting of numerous research papers by other acclaimed feline experts, including the seminal work “How to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you" by The Oatmeal. His conclusion is that a full-fledged cat rebellion is likely to occur anytime in the next five years, and it won’t be pretty.
"There will be plenty of split milk," wrote Waters on his blog. "If you’re smart, now is the time to get a dog, maybe two.”
Others are less convinced. Mike Pezza, a felinologistologist (that’s the study of people who study cats) from Fordham University believes that Waters is blowing things way out of proportion.
"The kitty apocalypse doomsayers have been spouting this nonsense for the past sixty years," said Pezza. "It’s always 5 years away, but it never comes."