Unicycling Cat Delights Birthday Party Crowds

Small businesses are the backbone of the nation’s economy, and Terrence the cat has had plenty of success ever since he started charging to perform his unicycle act at birthday parties.

“He’s been doing very well,” confirmed March Vassillo, a longtime client. “I generally have to book him months in advance now. Birthdays, garden parties… I even heard he’s playing the fireman’s ball.”

Terrence charges $25/hour and his rider requests a green room stocked with Fancy Feast a Evian bottled water.

Via furgione95.

PHOTO OP: Puppy Hike

Via @takahashi_saburo.

Corgi Playdate Goes Awry

By Scott Friedstein, FluffPo Correspondent

Lana the corgi just wanted a friend to play with.

Bored with the usual 9-to-5 grind, the dog logged on to Craigslist to find out about local playdate opportunities in her area.

“She found another corgi that was willing to meet up,” says Jen Dwyer, a friend. “There weren’t any pictures attached to the posting, though. Guess that should have been a red flag.”

Indeed, the playmate that greeted Lana last week was not a corgi at all. At least, not technically.

“It was a stuffed corgi,” says Dwyer. “It took a few minutes for Lana to realize, but once she did, she was really disappointed. I’ll tell you, the Internet can be a weird place sometimes.”

Via @lanathecorgi.

Puppy Fired from Florist Job for Eating Merchandise

The Capitol Florist in Austin, TX has one rule for employees and one rule only: the flowers are for selling, not snacking. It’s even emblazoned in big gold letters on a poster in the break room.

So when Moseby the dog, a Papillon/Chihuahua mix, munched up a $5 sunflower this morning that was given no extra chances. He was fired on the spot.

“It was actually his third offense,” said Capitol owner Mandy Rhoda. “He was given a warning last week when he ate the nasturtium. And I probably should have fired him when he ate all those roses — but I felt bad because, you know, thorns. But I had no choice this time. Rules are rules.”

Via mosebychoi.

PHOTO OP: The Cute Brothers

Via blackflag.

Kitty Arrested for Illegal Catnip Growing Operation

An area kitty is in custody today after authorities raided her home and found an expansive, illegal catnip growing operation.

“This was a huge bust,” said DEA spokesperson Tony Millet at a press conference. “The street value of this ‘nip is easily $30,000.”

The cat, whose name has not yet been released, could face up to 5 years in prison if convicted.

Via julieebonics.

PHOTO OP: Bathtime

Via talesntailsofnine.

Starbucks to Offer $8 Kitten Latte

In an attempt to attract a higher end consumer, Starbucks has announced that it will begin to offer a new premium latte. The so-called “kitten latte” (actual menu name: Purriato) will come in two sizes: grande (one kitten) and venti (two kittens).

All that cuteness comes at a price, though. The grande Purriato will set you back $8, while a venti will cost $12 in most markets.

All kitten drinks will come with a saucer of skim milk.

Via elpida_stylianou.

Bulldog Appointed Chief of Staff for First Dog Bo

The White House has announced the appointment of Buddha, a bulldog, to as the new Chief of Staff for First Dog Bo. The Obama family pet has been without a Chief of Staff since the start of the second term, so this political appointment is long overdue.

Buddha, who graduated suma cum puppy from Harvard, will help Bo set his second term agenda. Though the position of First Dog has no official powers, he is historically very influential in dictating national canine policy.

Among the issues the two are expected to tackle are closing puppy mills, harsher punishments for dog fight promoters, and an educational campaign aimed at dogs about the danger of chasing cars.

Via _the_goat.